In This House

Gardening and Children (I need your help!)

2012-02-10T04:33:00.000-08:00

One of my biggest struggles over the past few years, when it come to gardening, is doing so while looking after my children. It's a struggle I never thought I would have, after all I was the kid who followed my dad outside just dreaming of being able to work in the dirt with him... I'd beg to plant something.

My six year old son begs to go back inside. My 18 month old daughter loves being outside, but hates being in one spot. You can see my problem.

I'm looking for advice on how to alleviate my issues, raising them up right, giving them what they need and getting my garden chores done without getting a headache.

I have a few ideas. One being their very own plot in the midst of my garden. A small sectioned off area where they can stomp, dig, plant, water, trample and such without me yelling at them for doing so. But beyond that I'm at a loss as to what's right. For example I do happen to have a small plastic playhouse thing that I could move over to the garden. Am I trying to just keep them busy or should I be involving them more? But then again you really can't involve a toddler that much to start with...

I guess what I'm saying is that I just don't want to end up bribing them to "Let Mommy get her work done, PLEASE." I want them to want to work with me, to entertain themselves, to learn... you get the point, I hope.

I just feel as though stocking up on toys is the wrong solution. But they're both so different, I'm worried about keeping everyone safe, happy and such (and getting my work done!!!!). I'd love to hear your ideas!

In The Kitchen ~ 2012 Goals

2012-01-18T06:24:00.000-08:00

My 2012 Kitchen Goals

Perfect a sourdough loaf. My starter does great in pancakes and waffles, but always falls flat and will not shape for your basic breads.
Research cheese making. It's not really in budget to buy raw milks and cultures, but I'd like to start learning.
Research yogurt making. Again, see the cheese notes.
Switch from expensive, throw away sponges to all handmade wash clothes-- they really do scrub better to start with!
Meal Plan! For the life of me I can't get into that habit.
Stock the freezer with MEAT. I'd have no problem doing more veggie meals, but I think my husband would die. ;p
Stock the Pantry. I've been working on this, but I keep battling with flour moths. I need to continue replacing all of my storage containers, and stock up on all of the basics.
Canning. I learned how to freeze green beans last year after I found out you can't can things like beans without a $60.00 pressure canner. This year I plan on somehow budgeting (or finding one at a garage sale, which I never find awesome stuff like that, lol) in a pressure canner and tons of jars and lids so I cannot only correctly preserve our crops but also the bargain in season sales at the stores.
Ditch the boxes. I've replaced almost all bread products with homemade, and now I'm ready for the pastas and sauces. There's a new blog I've been following, Budget Bytes, where she actually lays out the exact cost of making things homemade, from scratch versus using store bought, the difference, the savings are sometimes amazing! Not to mention the obvious things like losing the chemicals, preservatives and additives that someone with a family history of major intestinal issues like me defiantly could live without!
Finish my Cookbook Binder. I have this thing lately with preserving the recipes that I've come up with that are successful. It's important to me for my children to one day be able to pass things down to their kids, just the way I did it, if they so choose. I think this comes from my husband dearly missing some things his mom used to make that went to the grave with her. (that sounds morbid, but you get the point)
Organize the kitchen and pantry! This also includes for me, coming up with a master plan to demolish the entire room... it is that bad. Pots and pans are stuffed into nooks and crannies, faded dated wallpaper covers every surface, it's a room that when spotless still looks grimey, old and non-welcoming.
Teach my six year old son the basics of using the kitchen. Dishes, small cooking chores, knife safety, oven safety and such. I've really slacked off since the baby on teaching him new chores, it's been so much easier t just get it done myself and that needs to change!
Go back to all homemade cleaning products. Mrs.Meyers stole my heart with her beautiful scents and crisp packaging, but really her stuff cleans no better than baking soda and vinegar.
Learn/ Research Wild Game Recipes. I'm adequate with venison, but I have no clue on how to prepare wild turkey, rabbits and the like that could really help relieve our food budget.
Re-Establish good kitchen/food habits. Cleaning immediately, food de-thawed ahead of time, fridge always presentable, baking days and the like.

What are your 2012 kitchen goals? Do you have any tips to share?

Winter Eggs

2012-01-17T04:41:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how quickly I succumb to the negative effects of winter, even with the random 60* plus days and the tornado warnings that kept me up all night last night. This winter just seemed to begin with the bad taste from last winter, and it has taken a lot of effort just to keep my moods where they belong. Blogging hasn't been a priority as I haven't had much to say, nothing positive or helpful at least.

The past year or so just seemed to weigh so heavily, nothing seemed to be moving forward, progress seemed non-existent, it's been a running in circles and falling backwards kind of year. Especially when you allow yourself to compare yourself with others, and I won't even go into that death trap right now.

But there was a catch I only began to just realize... I am getting ahead, I have been making progress, although painfully slow, the progress is there!

Four days before Christmas in the midst of the baking storms I went out to check on what the goat was staring at, as my husband stumbled upon a black bear while hunting I always check on what she's staring at! I couldn't find anything of immediate concern and decided to investigate the coop (where we found kittens the month before!) and finally discovered our first egg! Within in days I had a fridge full of multi-colored eggs, finding anywhere from 1 to 3 eggs a day. I was probably much more excited than I should have been with finding that first egg. Months had passed of chasing off stray cats, worrying about the bear, tending to the chickens in awful weather, searching for them in the woods... and finally it paid off, the work was worth it.

And that's just how life kind of feels like right now. The eggs are coming in, I can finally turn out a decent loaf of bread, the clutter is slowly disappearing, the finances are stabilizing (extremely slowly), my son is excelling in school (even though I still despise the whole situation). The getting there has been painfully slow and full of sacrifices and hard work... things don't seem to be changing... but they are, unseen to the eye things are getting better. It's just hard to notice until you have a fridge full of beautiful eggs.

My deepest apologies to my friends in the blogging world for dropping off of the face of the planet for such a long time. I'm scheduling it into my days of chasing Sophia off of the tables to write here at least once a week, and hopefully soon I'll be able to catch up with all of your lives as well!

What Am I?

2011-11-16T05:01:00.001-08:00

I'd like to think that I know alot about the lands I have spent all 30 of my years on. But I really don't know very much, especially when it comes to native and not so native plants.

I try, when there's time, to look up certain things on the Internet, only to discover that everything but that plant can be found online, or that I must have discovered some odd new species that has yet to be cataloged on any Missouri website.

So I was out the other day, hunting in my "I'm deathly scared of heights, so let's make a pretend tree stand in the corner of our lean-to" and noticed that I was surrounded by these small trees (or large bushes) that had hundreds of bright red berries on them. I have no clue what they are, and I'm assuming, since it's November and these are still covered in berries and not ravaged by our deer, turkey, bears (I haven't told you about that discovery yet) and many birds that they must not be tasty.

I googled them online and found nothing.

Here's a photo I took from my cell phone, while I was on my pretend deer stand, the quality is awful, lol.

If you have any guesses as to what it is, please do share! Thanks!

Healthy, Wholesome... Fail

2011-11-10T04:25:00.000-08:00

Today I was planning on posting pictures and stories of my new food journey that I've been working on for over the past few weeks. I've stopped buying soda, processed snacks, white bread and other foods that are junk in a box. The goal is overall to lower the amount of money we spend weekly on food and to better all of our health.

There's been some successes and some failures. I found out that my kids will eat lots of healthy things when you call it a neat name and present it right. I've also been finding tons of healthy recipes to use making chicken taste great even if it's been all you've had for an entire week. I also found out that if you allow my husband anywhere near a grocery store he will come home with double the things that you have not been buying. Ask for milk and you'll get pork steaks, brats, salami, 2 bags of chips, corn syrup disguised as fruit punch, loaves of white bread and a case of soda.

The hardest yet most amusing aspect has been the bread making. All though I have never had success in baking bread I'm still trucking along, giving it my best shot, praying one day I'll get that perfect loaf. The first set back was discovering my stash of flours had been invaded by flour moths, which I'm still fighting. Then I discovered that most of our stores do not offer whole wheat flour! The next issue was my finished product. Every loaf always borders on being too yeasty, too compact, almost bordering on a beer bread type of taste. It makes awesome toast and french toast and the like, but eating it as just bread has been leaving much to be desired. I'm almost positive it comes from my kneading, and my husband is already looking into getting me a dough hook for my mixer.

Then I decided while I was head first into this whole bread thing that I would take on the sourdough world. I carefully have been feeding my starter, keeping it warm in our frigid house, mixing, dividing, nursing it along. Waiting, and waiting till I felt secure on actually using it. So yesterday morning I carefully followed the steps to turn the goo into bread.

I already knew something went wrong half way through the process, it never shaped, it never rose, it just sat there like a blob. But after all of that work I put it in the oven anyway.

Then my son runs into the house, "There's cats everywhere in the chicken coop!"

My husband runs out there with him (and we STILL haven't gotten any eggs, I think we were way off on their age) and soon returns into the house with an arm full of kittens! The rest of the night was spent cleaning out a dog crate and posting alerts on Facebook and everything BUT checking on the bread.

So out the bread came a nice and rock hard, blackish brown, which wasn't that bad since I already knew it hadn't turned out. But the killer was my starter, which normally sits on top of the oven to keep it warm... some one had moved it, on top of a range, the one where the oven vents and it too was cooked! The other jar of starter was right next to it, but it too I fear is dead. The top is dried over and crusty. Disgusted and exhausted I left it all right where it sat.

So for today I have kittens to find a home for and a disaster of a kitchen to clean and probably starter to re-start. But I won't give up! Saty tuned!

Important to Remember

2011-10-27T12:26:00.000-07:00

Try to stay conscious of Me as you go step by step through this day. My presence with you is both a promise and protection. My final statement just before I ascended into heaven was: Surely I am with you always. That promise was for all of My followers, without exception.

The promise of My Presence is a powerful protection. As you journey through your life, there are numerous pitfalls along the way. Many voices clamor for your attention, enticing you to go their way. A few steps away from your true path are pits of self-pity and despair, plateaus of pride and self-will. If you take your eyes off Me and follow another's way, you are in grave danger. Even well-meaning friends can lead you astray if you let them usurp My place in your life. The way to stay on the path of Life is to keep your focus on Me. Awareness of My Presence is your best protection.

Excerpt from Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young

Pumpkin Bread Recipe

2011-10-25T07:43:00.000-07:00

Every fall my husband arrives home from work with a small package of homemade egg rolls just for me. That's how the many oriental woman at his work let me know that they are waiting for my pumpkin bread.

This is probably one of the few dessert recipes I actually can consistently succeed with, all though I have to warn you, it is far from healthy.

For my family I've been switching out some of the all purpose flour for whole wheat and have not noticed a difference in taste, but feel free to make your own adjustments (and feel free to let me know what works!).

You'll Need:

3 cups of sugar
1 cup of oil
1 tsp cinnamon
1 small can of pumpkin puree
2 tsp baking soda
4 eggs
1 tsp nutmeg
1 1/2 tsp salt
2/3 cup water
3 cups flour

~Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl until smooth. Pour evenly into 3 small loaf pans or 2 large loaf pans and bake at 325 degrees for one hour.

~I have also used cupcake pans and started checking them 20 minutes in.

~Enjoy!~

Meat Chickens, Planning

2011-10-18T04:46:00.000-07:00

As we sat around outside enjoying the beautiful weather this weekend I decided to pop the question to my husband, "Will you kill chickens for me?"

After a few minutes of eyebrow raising and confused looks he said yes.

Sweet right?

I have absolutely no problem raising our own animals to eat, but I have a huge hang up on the actual killing part of the deal. So I made clear to him the deal once more. One day, maybe two a year he is to go out, kill the chickens I deem worthy, make them look not so much chicken-ish any more than I will process the meat with his help, and before that point I'll do all the raising and building and such. We shook on the deal.

We are officially going to raise our own chickens for meat. (Do I get some kind of membership card now? Like a welcome to the club secret handshake? No?)

If only I could now snap my fingers and have the whole set-up magically appear before my eyes. There's important things to figure out first.

Like, where are they going to go? I have two options, 1) in one of our dog yards. This is the husband's desire, not mine. This means one dog will be denied all day outside access, and it also means needing to vaccinate our dogs with additional shots, which is more money and more hassle. The benefit is a 100' x 100' yard already fenced with 6 foot privacy fencing. Option 2 is the area I mentioned in the last post, above my garden, which has much more space, away from the chicken eating dogs, but no fencing to speak of.

Other things to figure out is do I just make it easier on myself and put all the chickens together? What kind of chickens do I want to try out? How can I supplement feed to keep the cost down? How many should I start out with? Should I go all out and look into getting at least one rooster so as to be able to hatch my own every year? And wouldn't that limit me to dual purpose breeds? Do I want any limitations? What's the most cost effective way to start such a flock?

And then of course you have the almighty coop question. I'm going big this time around. I don't want to have to expand if things work out well, and I don't want the same issues I have now with hauling feed around, and worrying about heat, water and such. I'm currently browsing through Pinterest for ideas, all though I'm pretty sure I'll be going for just a large, storage shed, type of setup. Actually what I need is a barn, but I'm thinking a barn raising by myself while touting around a baby might be too much, lol.

My apologies if I just gave you a headache. ;p My plan for now is to continue browsing for chicken coop ideas and secure fencing, as I'm 100% for free-ranging. There shall be many months of sketching out blueprints before I move on to the next steps. Thanks for stopping in!

I Need Your Help with Getting Frugal, Fast!

2011-10-12T06:30:00.000-07:00

I suppose I should shoot for more than one blog post a month, maybe when the season becomes cold and I'm locked indoors that will be easier to accomplish.

Lately life has been filled with a whole lot of chasing the baby off of tables and piling up wood for the winter. After being stuck last winter with only a sweet saw and me for our wood supply, we're preparing early this time.

The whole theme these days is "budget". My husband's employer unfortunately is considering cutting wages (thanks to all the cap in trade and health insurance regulations) and we're all ready feeling the crunch.

So far the game plan involves cutting every service and thing we possibly can (possibly my dear internet as well), and we're both taking turns on the deer stand, hoping to fill the freezer.

I've been busy preparing the garden for next season, hoping to do much better with what I learned this year. I'm plowing up (by hand, dreaming of machinery, lol) my rock filled land, using the rocks for pathways and filling up the compost bins to make up the difference. (The soil level drops almost 4 inches or so after the rocks have all been removed.) My raised beds did pretty well, but I grew tired quickly of trying to keep up with the decomposing lasagna beds, and really just got sick of trying to build them.

Also we are considering bartering with the neighbor (who we have yet to meet) across the road to see if we can maybe borrow a boar goat to breed with our female. She saved us loads of money by "cutting" our lawn this year, and we've been looking into saving money with her milk for cheeses and such that we go through like crazy. I'm not so sure I want straight up goat milk instead of cow's milk yet.

Talking about animals, we have also thrown around the idea of rabbits, pigs, cows and alot more chickens. The biggest problem with raising more of our own food is the initial cost of startup. We have no fencing except for random broken down barbed wire that was here before we moved in. But I have a general plan. As I'm working on expanding the garden I am going to start working on a fence for it. The northside (street side) of my garden is a rock bed with lots of trees... impossible to garden on or do much of anything with. It does however have a thick vegetation of wildflowers and prairie grasses. So I am thinking about figuring out a super heavy duty homemade fence on that side and eventually expanding around that whole land plot. I'd say it's about the length of a football field, almost, and about half that width, give or take. I'm not sure what I would put in there once the fence is up. It would be ideal for pigs, as they'd help remove the rock, but homemade fencing for a pig is guaranteed to fail, in my opinion. There would be enough for a cow, but the cost of a shelter and such might be more than we can handle. I could easily build a new coop and use it for meat chickens... but we'll just have to see what I come up with for fencing.

Of course slashing our budget in half (if not more) involves more than veggies and meat. I've already stopped using our dishwasher (which never worked anyway), and if the baby ever stops climbing on the tables I'm thinking of going back to the clothes line to partially dry our clothes. I cannot for the life of me stand all the way, line dried clothes! The spit up rags that are now out of use will replace paper towels and those stupid swiffer mop pads, and water will become our favorite beverage whether we like it or not.

I've often wondered how crazy it would be if I did more grilling using wood instead of the electric oven? Is that too frugal? Lol.

Also I'm going to switch back to vinegar for all my cleaning needs, so good bye love affair with Mrs. Meyers lemon verbena and lavender. I can't decide if I should make the switch with laundry detergent to homemade, our water is ultra hard well water and my kids are extra messy.

This has been a long rambling list of brain storming, and I hope I haven't bored you all too much for one post. I would love and appreciate your ideas and tips. They are very much needed as we have to get extreme now before things get bad. <3

A Change of Seasons

2011-09-06T05:02:00.000-07:00

Things have been awfully busy around here, and my time has been better managed by not sitting at my computer, which I'm sure everyone can understand. Then for fun I decided to top off this busy season of my life with a summer cold.

The garden I'm fearing, is just about done for this season. The potatoes wilted overnight and disappeared, perhaps the doing of a mole. The tomatoes can't fend off my hungry chickens (fencing is a must *sighs*) and my corn just has issues. The only thing still giving us a sizable amount of food are my pole beans and the teeny tiny green bell peppers. But all in all, compared to the years past I have declared this year a success.

Speaking of my dear chickens, I do believe I have the only chickens in the world who don't lay eggs. Somewhere I have their birth date marked, but I'm sure by now we should have at least one egg. But we have had nothing. I've searched in the goat hut, under things, out in the field... nothing. With the current drought, and their attack on my tomatoes, they're getting expensive to feed, they best get to work soon. I'm just saying.

I really haven't wanted to be outside much lately as I've hit a bit of spring/fall cleaning fever inside my house. I think the real thing that's hitting me is the potential of a winter slow down around here. The unplanned garden, and rowdy animals took up every second of my spring and summer, and with the garden almost done, I'm really looking forward to knitting and sewing away the cold days that seem to be approaching. But to make that happen I have to knock out the piles of clutter and get things in top shape in the house. I love summer with every ounce of my being, but I'm growing excited at the thought of baking, stews, warm fires and crafting.

Prepare

2011-08-19T05:35:00.000-07:00

Prepare.

Besides love, I think the word prepare is the key word for our lives as mothers. We prepare our homes, our children, meals, clothes, gardens, plans, activities, back up plans, ourselves, others... We live in a perpetual state of preparing.

Almost every prayer of importance that I have prayed to God has been answered the same, "Prepare."

I wanted our second child He told me to prepare.
Prayers about my stepdaughter, He tells me to prepare.
Questions about our future home, future family and careers, the same, Prepare.

My young stubborn mind took awhile to get the message beyond the word. I Am Not Prepared. I hardly ever am. I'm more of a "living on the edge, seat of your pants, survivor" type of a girl who thrives under pressure. I probably would have been kicked out of the boy scouts with their "always be prepared" motto. Sure I could camp with the best of those scouts, but they'd be eating steak while I was off catching fish with my bare hands. Seat of your pants living can be more fun, but steak sure tastes better in the long run.

In full out honesty and getting to my point, if my stepdaughter showed up today, ready to come back, ready to for help I'd panic. Our pantry is empty, laundry is piled, there's no clean pillows or sheets for guest... my home is a mess. How could I show her the love she would need if I'm too busy putting on my survivor pants and hitting crisis mode, trying to fix the house. My not being prepared could hinder her success at our home. And my ability to deal with the emotional side of her return. (Think prodigal son's brother)

If a tornado hit our home today, we'd be in trouble. If we make the move and put our house up for sale... trouble. If the markets truly crash down, if my husband looses his job... trouble again.

The lord tried to show me back in January when my husband underwent emergency surgery and was bed ridden for 2 months. We were not prepared. I almost listened then as I was out chopping wood in a foot of snow to keep us warm.

I am listening now.

Prepare. I hear it, loud and clear.

Being a mother, a wife, a daughter is all about preparing. We prepare for the scrapped knees, the harvest, the guest. We prepare for the future. We prepare for Him.

Are you prepared?

Lessons from the Garden

2011-08-11T07:55:00.000-07:00

Gardening here has most defiantly been an adventure. Sometimes dangerous, sometimes just different. But at least gardening is still a task I enjoy. Most days.

I find it challenging to look at my garden with the same eyes I viewed it with just two weeks ago. Two weeks ago I was planning the forever garden, now I might have to be rebuilding that in a whole new state, with a whole new climate and whole new mess of wildlife. If the move goes through I'll be trading my rocky clay soil for black flat lands (a plus), my snakes for bears, my deer for moose and elk and my long growing seasons for long winters. But I digress.

All in all I would say my garden attempts this year were a success. I had several failures. My squash crop was completely destroyed by bugs as were my kidney beans. My potatoes may or may not make it, as I've already lost half of them to who knows what. And my green beans took a pounding from the heat wave while we were on vacation. I had also taken a gamble on my tools. Trying to be thrifty and not having a dime to put into the garden I used sticks/branches to tie my pole beans and tomato plants to. FAIL. With tornado infested weather for most of the spring and summer everything constantly was pulled over, and the beans overtook the entire garden. I estimate that I was able to harvest about 15 cans worth of green beans before the drought got them, but I don't think the tomatoes will do as well since they are constantly on the ground.

The salad greens did well, and I'm getting ready to start planting them again. We did discover though that we prefer baby greens of all the varieties I bought, so plantings are small and frequent. In the cooler weather radishes also did very well, all though they did much better in the lasagna beds than in the bed filled with dirt. I imagine that was the looseness of the compost versus the harder clay like soil.

Our corn is taller than me, and I would imagine would be quiet tasty if I stop picking them BEFORE they are ready, lol! I still have lots to learn.

So now I'm trying to ignore the possibility of moving and focusing on fall plantings. I'm still in mid debate as to whether or not I should up root the last of the green beans, as they still are flowering, but only producing tiny beans. We'll see how they do now that I am home to keep them watered. I don't have many plans for fall crops and have yet to do my research on what will work here, but we'll see what happens.

Thanks for stopping in.

~Today~

2011-08-09T13:14:00.000-07:00

I don't have many answers. I do know I would much rather be here:

And I know life was so much easier the day my toes met that water, than today as I look back on last week's photos.

Today I have a utility box with live wires sitting on my lawn, a mere $800.00 repair. Today I have a loved one preparing for war with cancer. Today I have big decisions digging into my heart and soul. Today I am troubled.

I want to give up and let the sleepiness of depression wrap around my being. I want to give in.

God is out there with all the answers I need, but today He feels so far away, my doing not His I am sure. But none the less my prayers feel unheard. Yet I know, even with my frail faith and feelings, that quiting and succumbing to this dispare is not an option.

I don't have answers, not even a guess. I don't know where God is taking us. The path is most defiantly hard. But that path must be traveled, that I know. So with a deep breath we continue on, shakey legs and all.

Big Decisions

2011-08-05T15:54:00.000-07:00

When you think you almost have life pegged, something always changes. And we have suddenly found ourselves at a major fork in the road. One path being the same old path we've been traveling, a little worn with little adventure, not a bad path, but lately a trying one. And the other path is brand new, a total mystery, extremely adventurous and frighting. There's no in between.

I have no clue on which we will choose. Neither path seems right.

We have been given the option of staying put and pressing on with life as it has been. Or moving 2 states away and starting new. Moving has many benefits, closer to my husband's family, cheaper land, new adventures, help for the business, help with my many homestead projects, fellowship. But along with all that come many downsides, lower wages and less jobs, being 15 hours away from my mother, the only grandmother our children know, long harsh winters (and I am defiantly a summer girl), having to sell almost all of our belongings, giving up a stable job with good benefits, and leaving the only home I have ever known.

Scary, exciting, dreadful.

The only good news is that we do not have to decide right this minute. But we do have to decide. And I'm stuck in a hurricane of emotions that look much like a tennis match. I do. I don't. I do. I have no clue.

Of course when life has been stressful and you've been battling waves of depression a fresh start has a major appeal. But is that the only reason I'm interested? There's so much to think about.

So for now we're trying to let God lead us. Easier said then done. Waiting is trying when it seems as so much sits on one decision. But wait we'll do. For now.

If You Would

2011-07-24T05:48:00.000-07:00

We have decided to go semi-public with our hunt for our stepdaughter. I, with her family's full support, have started a blog dedicated to reaching her. www.lookingforsammyj.wordpress.com I ask of you just a moment to stop by the site, to leave one comment, or vote up one post, to up our rankings, which will up our chances of reaching her or someone who knows her. If you'd like to do more please feel free to share the link through Twitter, Facebook, your blog, Stumble and whatever else you can think of. If you have something to share on our blog to help us or others in the same situation please feel free to send it to me! And of course, your prayers, we need them desperately. Thank you in advance!

Feeling Better

2011-07-21T05:20:00.000-07:00

First off, thank you to everyone who left me a comment on my last post. I really did appreciate them all.

Today the words don't seem to want to flow very well, and perhaps that's because I haven't quite found the answer to the things that keep my mind spinning. Yet even despite that I am feeling a little better. Since my last post I have come down with a nasty, never ending, summer cold. Nothing like your body forcing you to stop everything to make you evaluate things a little slower.

I simply can not do it all. Healthy or not, I can't. I was trying and I was failing. I felt as if everyone else had it all and that they were doing it all. And of course I was wrong. And when I realized how others were doing everything that I wanted I became bitter at how my family does not work that way. Jealousy. Over determination and jealousy. I fell quickly.

Square one. That's where I am. That's a good place to be. Back to the basics. Change what I can, one thing a a time. Treasure what I can't change, and use the bad to our benefit. I can't change my husband's job and that it 100% depletes his energy and motivation. I can however take better care of his heart, and love him more. I can appreciate what he does give us more. I can't change the amount of work my family requires, but I can delegate more. There's no need for me to do all of the housework like I have been doing. My 5 year old son is more than capable and I need not feel guilt for making him do a lot more. Just the past few days I gave him the soul responsibility of cleaning the living room. WOW. Just that small task, him picking up all of his stuff and his sister's, keeping the tables clean and the floor cleared... I never realized how much one thing could help me out. Refreshing.

My blog. I need the outlet. I need the friendships. It's something I just can't go without, not for long. But I had no focus, no real purpose, no real intent. Square one. Back to basics. Less posting, more purpose. More heart, more soul, less fillers and following.

I'm going to be testing out some new names in the next few weeks. I'd truly appreciate it if you could take the time and leave me a comment, or send an email and let me know what you think. I desire honest opinions on here, so any advice or comments are always welcomed.

One day at a time. That's the whole point. More focus and intent is needed in my life in every corner. Slowly I'm feeling better. Thank you again.

Where I Am

2011-07-13T04:44:00.000-07:00

I may have allowed the world to get to me the past few weeks. I've been down, emotional, over whelmed. Unwilling to press forward on some ventures. Short, frail, on edge.

There's not one good reason for my loss of composure, not one. I can call out a few little things that added to the jumbled mess of emotions. Each one of them are really silly, but none the less they got at me.

One being the lack of success on here. Not that I was aiming for fame on my humble little writings, but sudden;y my blog had fallen dead. Empty. Lifeless. Perhaps I should have never looked at the stats, I never really had before. But one day I reached hundreds of views, double my norm... but not one single comment, not even a "hi, I was here." I let that get to me. I don't know why I let it get to me, I really don't.

I let the Internet depress me. Empty emails, unanswered tweets, a neglected facebook. A whole bunch of nothings I was slowly turning into something.

Everything just compounded onto the stresses of real life. My missing stepdaughter, and the way this event has been changing my husband. Demanding family members, who were pushing their opinions and expectations on me. Economic pressure. A non-sleeping, Velcro teething baby. My son succeeding and failing in his new school. And myself failing at the expectations I was putting on myself. All of this was compounded with 2 whole weeks with everyone on vacation and me not getting one second (unless you count bathroom breaks) to myself. Stress has been choking me out.

My mind and soul felt alone, while my body and lungs felt that everyone was standing on top of me.

I'm trying to take a step back. I'm trying to get back to the core basis of what's important, of my faith, of my family. I'm trying to allow the bad stuff to sink away. One day at a time.

I need a lot my prayer in my life, a lot more direction and focus.

It felt important to come clean here with my feelings. I'm not sure why. As I opened my account this morning to see what others were doing I just felt pulled to write this. As gloomy as it may be. This is me, my truth and where I am at. Healing, growing, learning.

I'm not quite sure where this leaves me with my blog. Obviously I've been taking it in the wrong direction and not taking it where I should. It's not something I'm ready to give up on, as in this season of my life it's one of my few outlets that I have with like minded adults. I still need this outlet, I just can't allow it to bring me down.

And with that, and the stirring animals and children it's time to wrap this up. Thanks to all my readers who have stuck around. Your companionship means alot to me.

~Giveaway Update~

2011-06-30T02:53:00.000-07:00

Since alot of people are off on vacation right now I'm extending the Giveaway for another few weeks! So please feel free to enter and share with your friends!

~Thanks

A Quick Break

2011-06-23T10:31:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a quick summer vacation from blogging to get some things finished around here... I'm still checking in, and the giveaway is still open!!! See everyone soon!

Encouragement & a Giveaway!

2011-06-16T08:32:00.000-07:00

I tend to get run down pretty fast, feeling much like this old dresser.

Overloaded, overlooked... falling apart. Outdated. Functional but loosing that "spark".

We all get there, those days we wake up without that spark, that something in our heart that pushes us to be better, stronger, to love more. We'd rather crawl up into the fetal position and call it quits. Sometimes it's slight negative actions and words from our loved ones, or cleaning the same spot on the floor 50 times in one day, or just having too much loaded on top of us.

Some days we just need a new outlook.

A fresh coat of paint on our hearts to change our outlook, to make our souls feel fresh and clean, worthy of sharing. Changing your outlook can be a challenge though when you lack the support and encouragement of others. Trying, difficult and almost impossible to go it alone. But you can't force others to offer encouragement, sometimes they don't even realize it is needed.

But you can turn to God. He can give you that extra boost, that extra something that allows you to turn criticism into motivation, that allows you to re-direct failure into success. He can offer you all the encouragement you need.

Sometimes when you get stuck in life all that's needed is a small little something to refocus you and to move you forward. Something that encourages you to keep going and to do your best. My master bedroom is a prime example, the task of updating it was driving me mad. I had no help what-so-ever and I had all but given up. Then I got this beautiful, yet simple frame in the mail from Dayspring and (In)Courage. The message is simple yet strong, "God is Love". Just something so small encouraged me to jump back in to the project, to give it my all... because I deserve a finished, beautiful room. I deserve it. And so do you.

What ways can you encourage yourself where you need it most? What negative thinking holds you back? Tackle it today. And then spread the love. Encourage someone else. Perhaps the one who is the most negative in your life needs some encouragement themselves. Or maybe you know of some new bloggers who simply could use some kind comments on their posts to keep them going.

Dayspring and (In)Courage would also like to help spread the encouragement to you by offering the chance to win a $20.00 coupon code (shipping is separate, but soooo worth it) for you to spend on anything in their store.

And can I just take a moment to say how much love these guys? Every blog post is full of encouragement, inspiration and heartfelt love. The minute I found them I became an addict. I mean, just look at some of the products they offer...

And they have a lot more, even perfect cards to spread encouragement to books that help encourage yourself. Thy really are a selfless, encouraging group of people.

How to enter:
Leave one comment sharing with us a story about encouragement. Either how to encourage, where you need encouragement or an encouraging story... the sky is the limit.

For additional entries (please leave a separate comment for each entry):

follow me on twitter
post about this giveaway on twitter
blog about my giveaway
follow my blog

The winner will be chosen randomly and announced here on June 30th, so please check back in then!

Don't forget to visit (In)Courage at http://www.incourage.me/

Dayspring sent me the "God is Love" frame at no cost in exchange for my review. All opinions in this review are of my own.

Every Prayer Counts

2011-06-14T05:42:00.000-07:00

Some time ago I shared our story about a family member who was turning dangerously fanatic in her beliefs. It's been several months since I have written about her, and I'm only doing so now with complete approval from my husband to share any and every detail that might help.

The family member is my stepdaughter, and the situation has taken several horrible turns. Her and her mother, and her new stepfather have ran away and she has abandoned her husband and her baby. She has cut off all communication with the entire family, and has denied court orders for a mental evaluation. She has professed that all of this is one hundred percent God's will, and has expressed her belief that we all will be going to hell for judging her and her God.

I don't want to go into details at this moment on their beliefs, on the series of events that have taken place or any of the such. I am asking for nothing more than prayers for her and us. Any advice would also be welcomed, and you are free to email me at barefootcoffeegirl (at) gmail (dot) com. I'm keeping this short as I do believe that prayers are the best thing for her, and the more people I can get praying for her the better, so please feel free to pass on the request for prayers. Thank you.

Blogging Friends ~Meet Tila~

2011-06-09T10:49:00.000-07:00

This week we get to meet a new blogger, Tila. You can find her blog at http://tilas-world.blogspot.com/

1) 7 Words to Describe Yourself.
Oh boy! You are starting off with a hard one. ( I will honestly tell you I had to come back to this one) I'm a wife, a mom, and a Christian. I'm a work in progress. Loving, Loyal, and Goofy too!

2) Describe your blog and why you started it.
I started my blog because I wanted an outlet for everything that was spinning around in my head. I love in the middle of nowhere and my husband takes the car to work every day so I'm stuck home with an 18 month old most days. I started to notice that I had too much time to think. I started my blog as a way to talk to people, even if I have no idea who they are.

3) What's your favorite Past time or hobby?
I LOVE LOVE LOVE to read! I think stories are great for my little one too. She really loves her books too.

4) Tell us about a day in your life.
I usually wake up when my husband leaves for work just before 5. By no means am I getting out of bed at this hour! I usually get up when I hear the stirrings of my little one. It varies from day to day. Then breakfast and playing around the house. My husband come home for lunch around 1030 and when he leaves for work again it's nap time. Then I clean or read or do whatever else need done. After nap time it's on to lunch, then more playing followed by my husband coming home and the Little one taking her second nap. Evenings are just family time then dinner, bath, and bed. I am the last to go down though. I get a couple hours of much needed time alone with no one to feed, change or worry about. The life of this stay at home mom.

5) What is the most important thing that you have learned from blogs? I follow a couple blogs that are by mom's like me. With little children, hard working husbands, and who also don't remember what it's like to shower by themselves. I have been able to get great comfort by knowing that I'm not the only one in this stage of life.

6) Share with us one tip, trick or hint about anything home related,

ie homeschooling, housekeeping, your hobby, etc. Making your own laundry soap is easier than I ever thought. I love the way it smells while it's cooking and I love it that the smell stays around my house for while after.

Thank you for the chance to answer your questions. It's been fun!

Thank you for joining in!

Please take a moment and leave a comment to welcome Tila, and click on the "blogging friends" link at the top of my page to visit our other "blogging friends" as well, or to in join in! Everyone with a blog is welcomed!

Need Some Chicken Tips

2011-06-08T05:09:00.000-07:00

Just a few quick questions for this morning (the Blogging Friends post will be up tomorrow, I'm running behind, sorry!).

My chickens always act like they are starving when they see me. Is this normal or are they starving? (I only fill their feeder at night when I put them up, but they have a 20 x 20 grass run all day with only 4 chicks)
How bad is it to clip wings? I have one who's determined to make her way out of the run, and I'm a wee bit shy of clipping wings for the first time.
They are ALWAYS running out of water. I have one of those cheap plastic waterer things and it either is always filled with gunk, unbalanced therefore flows out when I'm not looking or something. Is there anything I can build to make sure they always have fresh water? I've seen expensive things in catalogs, but I need cheap.
And while we're at it, what do you feed your chickens? I use a commercial feeder from the local feed store for the time being, but I'd love to hear your suggestions.

Thank you ahead of time for any ideas, tips or suggestions you might have!

In the Mix

2011-06-06T09:08:00.000-07:00

Gardens always amaze me. How things can grow from tiny seeds, the wildlife living amongst the plants... I'm always amazed.

Even more amazed at how odd my spinach row looks...

Hard to tell in the photo, but that spinach looks A LOT like Tomato plants...

And that spinach plant looks ALOT like some sort of squash/pumpkin/melon plant. And where exactly is my spinach? I have yet to see any.

I'm willing to bet that the plants are the product of the lasagna bed makings, from something I dumped in before composting took place. Which would mean that squash-ish looking plant is either cantaloupe or butternut squash... or did the pumpkins make it into the compost this fall??? Or maybe that one watermelon we had...

The lettuce however is doing pretty well, although my husband complains that it tastes too bitter, or wild. Perhaps because his idea of a salad consist of a week old bag of iceberg lettuce from the store. Blech.

I do seem to already have some creepy crawler eating holes in the leaves. On inspection I only found a few caterpillar eggs that I quickly destroyed... now to find the momma.

The pole beans are thriving, but are also plagued with the same small holes being ate out of the leaves. I'm hoping for tons of beans seeing that I panted 3 different seed packets worth of seeds. I suppose I need to start learning how to preserve these things... and soon. And I really should have planned out the trellises better... any cheap ideas on building your own trellises?

Just about all of our seeds are now panted, and most are already peeking out of the ground.

And all of the raised beds are built for this year. I hope.

However I will be working on plowing (without a plow) up some space for direct, traditional in the ground planting next year, or maybe this fall. I like my raised beds so far, but filling them and keeping them filled has been a challenge, and even with the 6 or so beds I have created I still am lacking enough room to really feed our family off of.

We'll see how this crop goes, and how much time I get to work out there. Mainly for this week I plan on ignoring the garden, beyond watering of course, and getting the coop fixed up. If I get that done I'm hoping to get back to my bedroom make-over and Hopefully get some crafting in.

Don't forget to come back tomorrow for our next "Blogging Friends" post, and keep any eye out next week for a potential giveaway that you won't want to miss! Thanks for stopping in!

~Every Day~ Five Minute Friday

2011-06-03T03:19:00.000-07:00

Mornings call out, uninvited and always much too early. The sun is still sleeping as I begin my day.

It's the same routine day in and out. Every day that means a different thing to me.

Every day there's the same, laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, animals to tend to, plants to water, children to raise, husband to support... work to be done.

Every day there's the struggle to make it to bedtime, to get to that quiet moment when I can rest my head.

Every day.

But amongst the craziness that has become my life there's that warm and deep first cup of coffee, the silent moments of the sun rising, the hugs, the kisses, the laughter, the smiling. There's the learning, the children's prayers, the precious moments. Every day there's blessings and thanksgivings.

Every day I get this. This life of mine. I'm stressed and busy, usually a tad overwhelmed. I'm blessed and I'm thankful. Every day, this is mine.

Click on the button above to join in on Five Minute Fridays, where the goal is writing, having fun and letting go. Thanks for dropping in!

Chicken Progress

2011-06-02T07:27:00.000-07:00

We've made it another month in the raising of chickens. I won't celebrate yet... not until these guys make it to a year old and we add on to the flock. Then I'll celebrate... then I'll proudly announce that our chicken endeavours have been successful. Until then I'll nervously approach the coop each morning and night, saying a small quiet prayer until I see them alive

This group has been quite different from last year's flock. Perhaps it's the age we acquired them at, perhaps it is the breeds. This year's flock is rather lazy with their foraging skills, rushing at any human who comes by, hoping for some scraps or feed. Although annoying, it is nice that you never have to catch them to put them in the coop for the night. They also are more mouthy than the last group, meaning we all have at least one peck mark on our body daily. Especially the black sex link, she's still looking 100% like a hen (and hello she's a sex link... can you really get the wrong sex?), but she'll charge you down and peck you any chance she gets. If we had more then 4 chicks total I wouldn't mind in the least to be serving her up for dinner.

Anyhow the coop is almost done. I still have to make some nesting boxes, and finish up the exterior, but it's coming along. And apparently I also have some wing clipping to do or some more fencing. Fun. If the son and the children allow I should have some photos for the next post of our coop in progress.

May I Bug You?

2011-06-01T05:22:00.000-07:00

How do you control garden pest and summer blood suckers?

Blogging Friends ~Meet Alicia~

2011-05-31T10:05:00.000-07:00

First up on my "Blogging Friends" Interview is Alicia from http://ecofriendlyhomemaking.com/ . Take your time, get to know her, and drop over to both her blog and her website... you'll be glad you did!

Give us seven words that you think describe you best.

I may have to think pretty hard to come up with seven words to describe myself. First off I am a Born Again Child Of God!! I would say I am very passionate about things I believe in. I always try my best to be thoughtful, kind and compassionate.I am very loving and laugh a lot and I am very outgoing. I hope that I counted right and that is seven.

     2. Tell us abut your blog and why you started it.

I started my blog to go along with our Eco Natural Soap website. http://www.econaturalsoap.com. We have we believe some really awesome products that from the testimonies we receive are really helping so many people.We wanted to be able to share these products and my passion about being Eco Friendly. I learned so many wonderful things on this subject when we lived in California and our daughter told me that I should write this information in the blog because there were a lot of other people that would be interested in the things that I had learned. She was right! I so enjoy sharing information that has helped us in hopes that other people are blessed by it also.

    3. What would be your favorite hobby or past time?

My favorite pastime is gardening and then canning and freezing our harvest so we can enjoy them all winter. I love to grow herbs and cook with them and also make herb vinegars. I dry them and use them in the Winter and they taste so much better than what you buy at the store.

    4. Share with us a typical day in your life.

A usual day in my life is waking up about six and starting my day with prayer then doing regular morning stuff like breakfast, checking e-mails, doing blog posts and then my husband and I spend time just discussing the plan for the day. We are really blessed to usually have a lot of orders to ship out each day and a lot of deliveries of our products to the many retail locations that carry them. I am home most of the time home by four or five and then it is time for supper. I love to cook so I am always trying out new recipes. Usually there a couple of shows that my husband and I watch and then I go catch up on the blogs that I like to read and leave comments. I think it is so important to leave comments.Our daughter lives at home and our son is married and lives about forty five minutes from us so we make time lots of nights to chat and catch up on the days happenings. Then it is off to bed.

    5. What would be one of the most important things you have learned from blogs/blogging?

The most important thing I have learned from blogs is that they are such an awesome community of people! They are so many bloggers that were willing to answer my questions and help me know how to make my blog work. I have been really blessed to have met some wonderful people since I started blogging.



6. Do you have a tip, trick or hint about anything home related. (example: homeschooling, homemaking, housekeeping or something related to your hobbies?

One tip I would love to tell you is that so many of the household products that you use can easily be made from ingredients that you have in your kitchen It will not only allow you to have products without chemicals but will also save you so much money!! Best of all if you have a computer all you have to do is Google it and then just take your pick of the recipes that suit you best..

I want to thank you again Emily for helping us find other great blogs that we might not have discovered otherwise.This is a great opportunity and really a lot of fun!!

Thanks Alicia for joining in and being our first volunteer! And thank you to everyone else who is so graciously willing to jump in as well. If you want to join in please leave a comment with your email address or send me an email at barefootcoffeegirl (at) gmail (dot) com. Your blog can be big and well known, or tiny with just one post, we just want to get to know you! And don't forget to share the love! Start your own blogging Friends post at your own blog, just please link back to me, I'd appreciate it!

~Forgetting~ (five minute friday)

2011-05-27T11:00:00.000-07:00

I swore I'd never forget the nine miserable, horrible months of pregnancy that I just went through. I promised myself I would not forget the nights without sleep before she was born, nor the nine months without sleep after she was born. I'd never forget the pain, the misery, the exhaustion... never.

But that face, the love, the feelings. I truly will never forget those. Holding our baby Sophia Lorraine, the second after she was born...

Now she's going on 11 months old. I'm forgetting the bad, the horrible. It's all being forgotten.

I swore I'd never want anymore children... and I'm forgetting that too. Now please someone, make my husband forget that too. (lol)

Go take a five minute break by clicking the button above this and join in on the fun! (and you can win a prize too!)

The Chore Chart Update

2011-05-27T06:50:00.000-07:00

It has been two weeks since we first implemented our new chore chart system. All in all we are all liking it, so far. The first few days were hard to stay on top of using the system, and there was a lot of re-teaching of chores going on. But I'm happy to announce that this morning, my five year old son, got dressed on his own, and went about feeding both the cats, on his own, with no instruction or reminders from me! I'd call that a success, even if half of the cat food is lying on the floor next to the bowls instead of in them. And as a major bonus, perhaps even better than the cat chore being done, his room is still clean 2 weeks after the great declutter! Who knows where this one is going to take us!

~Blogging Friends~ Please Join In

2011-05-26T04:18:00.000-07:00

It's an extremely busy season around here (not that I can think of a time when it's not busy around here) and trying to come up with post beyond "I spent 2 hours today planting more seeds and pulling weeds" or "guess what, it's storming, again" is getting hard to do. So I thought it would be fun to do something different. I'm opening up my blog to you and I'm inviting you to do the same thing for others as well. I'd love to interview you here on my blog and share you with my other friends. So if you have a blog or a website and want to meet new friends, leave me a comment with your email address or contact me at barefootcoffeegirl (at) gmail (dot) com. I'll send you a quick, fun interview where you can tell us a little more about yourself. I hope you'll join in!

Dogs and My Newest Project: An E-Book

2011-05-24T18:10:00.000-07:00

Journey, my Australian Cattle Dog (aka Blue Heeler)

I'm crazy, trying to do even more than what's already on my lap, but I love to write it's one of those things that I just have to do. Lot's of prayers and late night talks with my husband led me to the decision to work on an e-book covering what I've spent half my life and well over 30 grand learning about.

As some of my followers may or may not know, when I'm not being a mom, and often at the same time, I am a Master dog trainer. More than half of my life, and all of my money (lol) has been in the dog world. From pets to military dogs I've done it all, and I'm excited to share my experiences with you!

The book is not going to be another how-to for training your dog, instead I'm going to focus on teaching my readers how to communicate with their dogs. There will be a wealth of information on how dogs think and react, how to build a working relationship and more. I'll probably include some fun tricks and activities on top of it all as well.

Here's how you can get in on my fun (lol) if you have questions on your pet, such as behavior issues, training problems etc please email them to me at barefootcoffeegirl (at) gmail (dot) com. If I use any of your ideas, questions or so forth you'll get a free copy of the book and advice back before it's done. Please note some issues can't be solved without me knowing your actual pet.

If you have any tips or hints on e-books I'd love to hear those too! Thanks in advance!

Gardening by the Seat of My Pants

2011-05-23T11:38:00.000-07:00

Did you catch my post where I shared my garden plans and layout for this season? No? That must be because I didn't make them. Could you blame me? I was pretty sure it was going to be a waste of time much like last year.

I might have been wrong. I probably should have planned something. Now I'm pretty much gardening like a rebel without a... plan. "Lookie at that bare spot, we'll stick this seed there, and this one there." "Oh look, I don't have those seeds yet, let's buy them!"

The raised "Lasagna" beds are going up, and I'm going through compost before it's actually compost. But thing are growing, and my field is starting to look more like a garden than a jungle. Progress is progress even if Martha would convulse at my lack of organization out there.

The weather has put a damper on the progress with rain and tornado warning almost daily. So I have yet to get any fencing up, and still have tons of seeds left to get in the ground. I'll probably end up with bolting plants as late as it is getting... but this year I seem to be a risk taker.

Since I can't share with you any formal chart of what's going where I figured I'd just share the list of random seeds I have gotten. Please note, again I planned nothing and of course ran out of time to order seeds, most were bought at local stores. I'll be sharing more on how they all do as it happens, but feel free to ask any questions or to add in any comments, tips or suggestions!

Carrots

Danvers Half Long
Kaleidoscope Mix
Danvers #I26

Tomato

Big Rainbow --my seedlings have done horrible this year, and only one has really thrived, so I bought random cheapo tomato plants from the local store to at least give us something.

Radish

Cherry Belle

Corn

Golden Bantam Sweet Corn --I'm still disappointed that no one had any popcorn seeds this year, next year I'll be ordering several packets.

Squash

Delicata
Burgess Buttercup
Vegetable Spaghetti
Waltham Butternut --Our family prefers butternut squash above all others, all of these seeds are actually from a mix package, but it was all I could find with butternut in it.

Beans

Rattlesnake (Pole)
Landstar (Bush)
Dark Red Kidney (Bush)

Herbs

Thyme (common)
Parsley (plain or single)
Oregano
Basil Lettuce Leaf --had no idea how many varieties of basil there is!
Onion, White Lisbon
Chives

Misc

Seed Potatoes --have no idea what kind, as my husband grabbed them for me.
Strawberry -- just two this year, will expand to a whole patch next year
Raspberry bush -- bought a cheap cane from a local store, still no sign of life.
Peppers, Carnival Mix

Lettuce

Spinach Bloomsdale Long-Standing
Mesclun Zesty Blend (Mustard, Swiss Chard Orange, Endive, Lettuce Danyelle, Lettuce Royal Oakleaf and Lettuce Silvia)
Romaine Parris Island Cos
Lettuce Summer Mix, Looseleaf (Four seasons, Lollo Rossa, Black Seeded Simpson, Buttercrunch, Craquerella du Midi and Salad Bowl)
Mesclun Green Party Mix (Black Seeded Simpson, Red Salad Bowl, Royal Oak Leaf Lettuce, ugula Rocket, Chicory Cerilo Gramulo, Endive Frisee Galia and Radicchio Red Verona)

There's tons more of veggies I wish I could have added this year, and I might throw in some more already started plants if more space opens up in the next few weeks. If all else fails we should at least have some good salads this year!

The 13 Year Swarm

2011-05-19T05:25:00.000-07:00

Last night the noise of scratching and cracking drew our attention to the side of our home. The sounds were loud enough to catch your attention several feet away. Sounds I hade never heard before.

We were extremely suprised to see a literal swarm of Cicadas overtaking every inch of my garden, the foundation, the nearby tree and anything else they could climb.

Apparently we are in the midst of the awakening of a 13 year Cicada swarm. They live underground in a larve worm stage, then dig their way out every thirteen years, shedding their skins.

After they shed their skins, they warm up and stretch much like a new butterfly, changing both color from white to black, and then fly to the nearest tree or plant. From there they lay several eggs into a small slice they cut into the plant. The eggs then fall o the ground, burrow in, and wait for another 13 years.

I'm pretty sure we sat out there for over an hour just watching these things dig out of the ground, and transforming before our very eyes. It was an amazing yet gross sight that we just couldn't turn away from. I only wish they did this in better lighting... but you take what you can get.

(I apologize ahead of time, blogger's spell check seems to not work recently for me... and we all know spelling is not my strong point)

DeCluttering the Nest and Soul

2011-05-18T07:20:00.000-07:00

We know our homes are better with less clutter in them. Instantly things are cleaner, more peaceful, happier. But there's a secret there. Our minds reflect our homes and our homes reflect our minds. To successfully clear your palette you have to clear both your mind and your home.

I still have loads to do in my house, but I'm starting to slow down... I'm starting to loose that zest that I began my project with. Perhaps there could be a bit of discouragement floating around, maybe a sense of being overwhelmed. There's definatly exhaustion.

So today I'm switiching it up a bit. I'm limiting my decluttering to 3 games of "27 fling boogie" (see http://www.flylady.org/ for detailed instructions). Basically for the boogie you rush through your home pitching 27 things as fast as you can. Then today I'm reflecting on decluttering my mind. Here's how I'm going to be tackeling my negative mindset:

Listening to Podcasts, I love Charles Stanley's free podcasts, you can find a link on his website at http://www.intouch.org/
Spending ample time with my bible that I have neglected for far too long.
Making a list of FUN things I would love to do with my home once the clutter is gone.
Reminding myself often that this will get done, and the hard work is well worth it. Even if I'm the only one who can see the outcome before it gets here. I deserve a nice home and so does my family. I get to take care of a beuatiful all though not perfect home... I don't HAVE to, I get to.

How is it going in your home? And how do you handle burnout and negative feelings?

The World's Easiest Chore Chart System

2011-05-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

I have long struggled trying to find the right system to use in teaching my son responsibilities and household skills. Finding the right system with rewards that could be adjusted to reflect his work and attitude while being instant. I also had to have something that could be adjusted at will. Where chores could be added or taken away as we developed it's use. Then of course I wanted consequences. Nothing seemed to fit all of these needs, at least not cheaply, so I developed my own system based off of a handful of ideas I saw online.

There's nothing pretty about it, yet. But the bones have to be developed before we work on style. On envelopes I simply wrote down the basic of chores I want my son to do. I included an envelope for manors and one labeled "extra" just in case something would pop up.

Then I created the reward and consequence part of the system. I used printer card stock that was precut for postcards since they were literally laying at my feet. I assigned a value to each one with 1-4 points and placed that many stickers on each card. Then i color coded them to make them a wee bit more special. Later on if this system works for us I'll be dressing them up and probably laminate them so they'll last as we add in our other child when she's ready.

The basis of the system goes like this. Everyday every envelope should be addressed. Either with help or by himself. After the task is completed both the job and attitude during the job will be evaluated and then rewarded. 1 point for just getting the job done, 4 points for on his own and a happy graceful spirit. Everyday the point cards will be gathered into the "this week" envelope. This leaves the chore envelopes blank for the next day reminding him what needs to be done. At the end of the week he can cash the cards in for money or for video game time. But if he fails to do a job with a good attitude or if it's a battle I can take points away equal to the "crime".

Okay so it might not be the world's easiest chore chart system, but to me it's easier than check marks and printing out list every week. We're just starting it but if you have questions please feel free to ask.

ps. the spelling errors on the envelopes have been fixed, lol. That's what I get for doing things with a minor migraine helping me out.

The Art of Homemaking

2011-05-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

I want to wake up one morning to a day that asks little of me. I want to be able to have a fresh cooked healthy breakfast and spend the morning with fresh coffee and the butterflies in my garden. I dream of spending hours with the kids playing outside, watching birds and listening to their stories. Followed by tucking them into fresh clean linens and spending an hour or so alone with a project, a hobby just for me. I want my husband to rush home from work into a clean and orderly home and to relax his work day away. A wholesome dinner, quiet readings, a night stroll with the fireflies and a good night sleep in crisp soft bed.

I think we had all of that, once. The week we first moved here, when most of our belongings were still a town away.

There's an art to homemaking, I don't believe it's something that comes naturally to most of us, or maybe it's just me. I can perhaps blame it on my grandmother who did the majority of raising me. She treasured art and creativity more so than anything else I can remember. You fed that creativity when ever a moment hit you. Even if you should be doing something else, even if you're in the middle of four other projects. I know why my mother laughed when she asked me if I had finished the blanket I was knitting for my granddaughter. I responded, "Well, I started on it, but then I went back to working on this, and I had to start on this one too...." She exclaimed that I was her mother's child.

I was shaped to be creative and impulsive in my art. And I've used that same mindset in my homemaking. And now my home runs much like a Picasso painting. Chaotic, cluttered and hard to interpret. And my family, we're not an edgy group. We need calmness, serenity, organization... peace.

I fully believe that homemaking is an art. It's a skill you have to practice and develop, you have to find you niche, your own style and flow. And after a lot of praying and thinking I've determined that I need a blank canvas. I can't take a Picasso canvas and turn it into a Monet. There's just too much going on, too much to work with, and I don't want to just cover things up. I can change my habits, I can learn new skill sets, I can create in a different way... but first thing is first.

Our home is our canvas as homemakers, it's where our family grows, learns and bonds. It's where everything starts. So that is my number one priority. And before you can do anything in your home you must empty out all of the clutter, the chaos and anything that does not nurture your family. Chaos of any sort only breeds more chaos. You can't hide chaos and you can't cover it up. The only solution is to remove the chaos.

For the past week I've been a de-cluttering maniac. And I'm far from being done. So far I've filled our huge company issued trash can twice and have had enough garage sale items to load two cars. I'm still not satisfied and will be pushing through this entire week as well. The trick is staying motivated and not pushing yourself to the burnout point. Flylady.org has wonderful advice for decluttering or you can use my technique of visualizing the final picture. When I'm past burnout, and ready to quit I picture my home in total peace, I imagine waking up to order and it's enough to keep me going.

I invite you to join in with us. My friend at A Peak Inside and I have been trying to work on a way to turn this into some sort of challenge link up, but for now both of our lives are way too hectic to get very far on the planning. So if you need to clear your canvas like us and need some support and encouragement feel free to join in by leaving a comment on this post or follow us on twitter where I've been tweeting about my progress or lack there of. You can follow me at http://twitter.com/#!/BarefootcoffeeG and Danielle at http://twitter.com/#!/Daintydecker. We'll try and come up with a # later on this week if time allows. I hope you join in, even if your home is perfect, we sure could use your support.

Carrots

2011-05-11T13:23:00.000-07:00

In hope of getting my 5 year old excited about the countless hours we're spending out in the garden I asked him which vegetables he would like to plant. He choose two, carrots and celery.

Being that I have no idea how much land I'll be able to conquer I did not plan ahead, and of course did not order any seeds. So I'm left with Walmart seeds, which of course do not include celery. I promised him lots of carrots. I had to.

Now we all know I'm running really late on getting things planted so this mother's day I spent hours constructing a deep raised bed for carrots. From what I have read, carrots do not do well in your typical lasagna style beds, unless the beds are already pretty well composted, and tons of good, loose dirt is added in.

The ugliest raised bed ever, 1/3 of the way full.

Three days later I have that bed filled with tons of finely chopped organic matter and tons of dirt from underneath the goat hut. Ninety degrees out, and I'm digging goat dirt. I run inside to get my seeds, my good organic, heirloom carrot seeds.... to find them dripping wet with apple juice.

I don't know how long they've been simmering in the bag with the juice box. I don't know how the juice box got into my seed bag.

I planted those seeds anyway. Either the acid has totally ruined the seeds, or I found a new fertilizer. We'll find out soon enough. And we'll also be picking up some cheaper, good old regular carrot seeds from Walmart rather soon... and no juice boxes.

It seems no matter what, everything is an adventure in some way in these parts.

Ps. See that bottle of bubbles in the picture, laying off to the far left corner... do not buy them... never, ever. Crayola's new colored bubbles are the messiest, nastiest, most unpleasent thing my son has ever been given... go ask our green cat about it.

~Cocoon~

2011-05-10T04:16:00.000-07:00

Last month we received two truck loads of wooden pallets from my husband's workplace. Destined for garden beds and fencing the pallets have been sitting idle, waiting for the rain to stop. But now they have been taken over by hundreds of caterpillars who have already started to build their cocoons on the wood. I don't personally have the heart to disrupt them. And they have been the cause for many lessons with my son and I running around like hatching butterflies. You can't beat learning like that.

And it's kind of been the theme in my head lately. Metamorphosis. I feel it might be that time for my blog. In particular my blog's name and general feel. Do you have any suggestions, tips or advice? I'd love to hear them all.

Random Update

2011-05-09T06:06:00.000-07:00

I suppose not having the time to blog is much better than not having anything to blog about. And that's my excuse, I just haven't had the time. Or when I do have a few minutes I'll realize I have yet to take any photos of anything I'd like to share.

There is progress being made, and I'm still amazed at how much last year's pregnancy was really slowing me down. We all know you slow down when pregnant, but even with two kids I'm getting at least 4 times as much work done this year. Or maybe it's a different mind set. Either or, I love seeing the progress.

The run for the coop is almost done. We have a wood fence up around the chicken wire, and I've been adding in a rock trench around the entire thing. Next up is extra stakes in the ground to guarantee no digging predators and some guard wires up and around the top to keep out the hawks and to keep the chicks in. The chicks are already out there, all though they're being carefully watched. The interior still needs a better perch and nesting boxes, but we're almost there. Fancying it up with paint, shingles and such might just go on next year's list.

The garden is finally, after 2 years of work (lol) starting to look like a garden. I spent my mother's day building a raised box frame for the carrots, and I'm hoping to fill it and plant it today. It's one of the ugliest raised bed frames... but it will work. That now brings my total of raised beds up to 4, and I still have a mountain of pallets to finish tearing apart. Luckily since the garden is still so new, and everything is still in the seedling stage the critters have yet to discover it... hopefully I'll get to working on that fencing soon. It seems that when you live out of the city limits everything you do revolves around fencing.

Indoors I'm still working on my master bedroom re-do, and a massive de-cluttering project. Finding balance between inside and outside chores is a chore all in it's own rights.

My quick little update post is getting quite wordy, and I still have those carrots to plant. So I'll leave you all with a quick random question of the day. How, why and when do you reward your children?

The Garden Grows... Slowly

2011-05-01T04:39:00.000-07:00

With 90% of our energy focused on finishing up the chicken coop the poor garden has not seen much progress lately. The violent storms and constant rain haven't helped either.

I now have one 100% completed raised bed, about 4 foot by 6, give or take. The inners of the bed were filled almost entirely by last year's compost and then dirt from or property. On top of the dirt I added hay from the goat hut to keep the soil warm and moist. I've been hesitant to say the least to dive into planting too much, although I have future plans of that bed becoming a complete strawberry bed. I just know without fencing in that area that one morning I'll wake up to find nothing more than deer hoof prints and nothing else left. Isn't that my luck? Lol. But with the fear of coming financial hardships I had to start planting. So far I've kept it small with only 2 strawberry plants, and a handful of greens. The strawberries are thriving but the seeds haven't done a thing, yet. We're still a day or two ahead of the germination schedule so we'll just have to see what happens. Since I'm getting such a late start this year we might just have to stick with started plants from the stores.

Also I have started 2 other beds, filling them in the lasagna style, with piles of wood waiting to be cut to build more beds. I really would like to get at least one more bed ready to go so we can get some corn in, as I had to pay $3.00 for 3 ears of corn the other day at the store! And wouldn't you know the one year I wanted to try out some popcorn corn, no one locally is carrying it. I have to start ordering my seeds early, I've learned that lesson, lol.

Back to the fencing, I have none, not unless you count the barbed-wire that runs along the road from the previous owners. I have no idea what we are going to do to keep the garden safe. Ideally, one day, we'll have a wooden picket fence surrounding the area, but that shall have to wait. My sister has had some luck using stakes with fishing line strung across the entire border of her garden. The theory is that you string it tight at chest level of deer. They run/walk into the line and get frightened by being touched by something they can't see, and run away. Of course they could get used to it, if desperate, and it wouldn't stop the wild turkey, rabbits or anything else. All I know is that at all costs right now I want to avoid using anymore chicken wire. A week of pulling, stretching and securing that stuff for the coop and my hands are ready to fall off.

Hopefully the rain will hold off again today and we'll be able to finish the coop and move onto the garden, my husband, although once again injured has been highly motivated the past few days to help me out there, so I'm taking advantage of every second he offers.

Homemaking in Today's Economy

2011-04-29T04:34:00.000-07:00

There's a lot on my mind this morning as I'm trying to make this post. It's one of those post that have been deleted and restarted more times than I can count. I was going to post on the weather, my seeds, the garden... but my mind is someplace else.

I'm a wee bit afraid that the economy has me in it's grasp, and it has gotten me a tad bit worried. Perhaps it wouldn't be so threatening if we hadn't missed those 2 months of full paychecks from my husband's surgery, and if he wasn't again injured and missing work again. (Luckily this time he only has to miss 2 days). If we didn't have the medical bills flying in... maybe I wouldn't worry as much.

We had that talk last night, the one I'm sure every stay at home mother has had with her husband at some point or another. The one that touches on me possibly needing to go back to work sometime in the future. If something doesn't change, if gas prices don't drop soon, if we don't cut something, somewhere...

I became a stay at home mom when I was pregnant with our first child. My trade as a dog trainer would not allow me to continue working while I was pregnant, I tried to find a job but found no one willing to hire someone who'd be leaving a few months later, not that anyone would admit that. So I stayed home, and we went without pretty much everything we could. After he was born I set out again, applying for jobs. I got hired for quite a few, but the pay never equalled out. After childcare I would be paying to go to work. So for over 6 years now I've been a "homemaker", dog training on the side.

The whole country is feeling the crunch I'm sure. I can only have faith that God will open something up for us. Whether it be a new source of income, new ways to do without, a job opportunity that would not hurt my family... I have to have faith and leave it all in His hands.

All of this seems to bring up a more urgent need to make my outdoor endeavours succeed. I just want to be set, just in case, prepared.

Before this turns into a ten page post I suppose I should wrap it up. I would love to hear any and all ideas and opinions about making things work when times are tough. Any tips on making extra income, saving money or anything else? As always I treasure all comments, and emails are always welcomed at barefootcoffeegirl(at)gmail(dot)com.

Let's Trash Talk

2011-04-26T10:34:00.000-07:00

When else do you ever get the chance of sounding dirty in the most innocent of ways? I'm talking compost here.

I am the proud new owner of an all most complete compost bin. I finally was able to build an actual bin for my compost instead of just heaping everything into a huge pile... which let me tell you this alone is making my garden look more like a real garden on the classy scale. As classy as compost gets I suppose.

Construction was simple and millions of blogs and sites have covered the how to's, so I won't bore you with details, but how about a photo...

If the rain ever allows me out of our home again I'll be adding on at least one more section so I can have multiple stages going at once. But at least it's a step for now in the right direction, and I can get the multitude of yard waste cleared out from around the property and get it decomposing (in one spot, lol). And I might or might not add a front gate to the bins, I haven't quite decided yet.

As far as my actual composting system... I don't have one. I know many sites recommend various formulas with 4 parts brown to 1 part greens and things like that. But the last thing I have time to do is measure out yard waste and kitchen scraps for composting. I go by God's method, which out here with 6 acres works pretty well. I add in what I have, when I have it, and throw in more leaves, much like you find in the rich soil in the woods. I turn my piles when the mood strikes me, or when my son wants to watch some worms wiggle.

I do suggest when time alows to make sure anything you add in your compost is as small as you can get it. Smooshed and crunched leaves decompose quicker than whole leaves and so on. I also recommend moving your compost bin or pile every year or every other year. This doesn't help composting, but it does open up some beautiful, loose, rich dark soil that you can quickly work and plant in.

So there you have it, my simplistic, easy to do, trash talk of the day. Feel free to talk trash with me in my comments, I always love to hear your thoughts!

When it's Hard to Be Thankful

2011-04-25T04:43:00.000-07:00

Giving thanks can be hard. Sometimes, next to impossible. Life can weaken our faith with the hard times we come across.

Our struggles, our grief make us forget how lucky we are, how blessed we are for the things we take for granted. For things as simple as having a roof over our heads.

We can forget to praise God for our safety, for allowing us to be fed, warm and dry.

Little things can pass us by so very quickly.

When our children have lost their minds. When our spouses forget to give encouragement. When the bills come raining down.

We forget to be thankful.

We can take it all for granted.

Until something bigger comes along. Until something wipes out all those little things, leaving heartache in it's wake.

Thank God He is still there. Always. Even when we forget Him.

He never forgets us. Never.

When it's hard to be thankful, Thank Him.

This Good Friday left my town of St.Louis and surrounding areas in ruins. St.Louis was hit with tornadoes ranging all the way up to F4s. I took these photos from my Aunt's front yard as we were helping them clean up from the devastation. Thankfully, all though many homes were destroyed no one was seriously injured, and no lives were lost. Please keep all the storm victims in your prayers and thoughts. St.Louis has been declared a 'State of Emergency' and is asking for donations to the Red Cross, Salvation Army and the United Way.

Chickens,Take Two

2011-04-15T05:16:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if this morning makes me happy and relieved to finally have some rain, or if it's more of a hindrance. The projects are full blown around our home this week, and I have been getting quite the workout.

I moved our chicken coop, (well my husband's truck more or less did all the work there, lol) up away from our tree line, and placed it into a more centralized location. This is allowing me to put the entire run and every entrance into the coop into full view from our windows, which I'm hoping will add to it's safety. This also is allowing me to re-work the entire fencing. Right now I'm re-stretching and securing the first level of 4 foot chicken wire, I've added a gate so there's no more slack in the section we used to slide in and out of, and soon we'll be adding a palette fence for extra strength around the entire fence.

This was where the coop was last year. Excuse the mess, as it was pretty much abandoned after the chicks became dinner and I was far into my pregnancy.

The new location is away from the tree line, and where we can see all of it at all times. I still need to re-roof it, and finish the exterior.

After that level of fencing is complete and sound I will be adding post on top of the wood fencing to reach about give or take 6 feet, allowing me to stretch more chicken wire, creating an entirely enclosed pen. Or at least that's my plan. I'm not entirely sure what took my flock out last year. It had to be a single creature as they only took one chicken, and left the others dead in the coop. But I know we have a large line up of possibilities. Fox are apparently a huge problem, and will attack in brood daylight. Hawks are everywhere as well, and circle even when we take the new chicks out for some fresh air. We have raccoons, possums, stray cats, stray dogs, king snakes... basically we have them all, even a bear or mountain lion on the rarest and I do mean rare occasion (like one sighted every 5 to 10 years). Missouri must be a chicken's worst nightmare, lol.

The new girls, the local feed store didn't have many this year so our options were very limited, and I am no where near ready to handle a hatchery's minimum order quantity. We have a black sex link, a buff, some sort of branham and an Easter egger. At least that's what they think they are.

Prevention, I need every ounce I can muster out. Then I have to think about under the coop. We live on a cedar ridge which means our ground is 50% clay and 50% rock. It took a jack hammer just to dig holes for a fence post for our dogs. So I have left about 6 inches of chicken wire fence to try and bury on the outside to discourage digging, which I know to a hungry predator is not going to stop them enough. All though it should ward off just a curious threat. The only thing I can think of is buying those spikes, the twisty long ones and hammering those in anywhere I can get past the rocks. I'm still researching all my options here.

I'm trying to keep our security cost as low as possible with us still catching up from my husband's surgery. The dogs might have to come into play somehow all though I would not want to put any of them into a fight with a fox or possum. The goat will be able to reach around the entire yard, and she can fight off fox quite well, but that doesn't mean she'll protect another animal besides herself, lol. I'm at a loss of what else we will be able to do. I will however be building a chicken tractor of some sort so they will still be able to semi-free range out in the yard during the day.

Prevention is the name of the game I suppose. Please feel free to share any and all ideas with me, either in my comments below or by emailing me at barefootcoffeegirl(at)gmail(dot)com. Thank you!

~This Life~

2011-04-12T05:41:00.000-07:00

My life is far from what I planned on 7 years back.

I had dreams, and expectations. Touring with the band, parties, a career in the works... I never planned on the diapers, endless nights without sleep, marriage, homemaking... I never planned any of it.

But this life, I love it.

I love every last bit of it.

So what if I can barely get 5 minutes in the shower alone. Who cares if my city bound family members gawk and laugh at us having goats, chickens and other "farm" creatures and hobbies.

This life of mine is complete. This life is blessed. This life is an undeserved gift from God. And I love it, all of it.

Outside Plans and Spring Fever

2011-04-08T04:58:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love spring, especially when the weather starts to behave and actually commits to being spring. The snow looks to be gone for good (crossing fingers) and I'm ready to pitch a tent outside and to never return indoors. Always the dreamer I am.

The only bad thing I can possibly see about this season is the way it 100% completely overly motivates me. My to-do list is growing faster than weeds, and I'm afraid I might not get to sit down until winter hits again. But I'm not complaining... not yet.

In the garden (aka jungle) I have started 2 different raised beds using material I've found on our property (thank you previous homeowners for leaving junk everywhere). For the past week I've been filling the "beds" with compost, yard waste, kitchen scraps and raking from the woods. There's a bonus for trying to clear out in the tree lines... you get instant compost goodness and now I have a perfect clearing to start planting spring flowers. I'm planning on another week or two of stacking the compost material, then I'll top off with more soil, then the first box will be filled with strawberries, the second with tomatoes.

Hopefully, as I type this, my husband is filling his car to the brim with wood pallets from work. I have so many plans just waiting on lumber to show up here. I have dreams of walking into Home Depot with an obscene amount of money and clearing out the lumber section... but for now pallets will have to do. First up will be two more raised beds, followed by a real compost bin. Then comes the big project of finally tearing down the eyesore of a goat hut and giving her a home I'd actually be proud of taking pictures of. No more table cloths for winter insulation! After the goat hut I have plans of finishing up the chicken coop, garden fencing.... my list could really fill the whole Internet. I have a feeling my husband will be bringing me pallets daily.

The list is still growing as I write. But it's time to wrap this post up as the sun is rising and it's time to work! Spring fever, you have engulfed me.

~A Gooseberry Patch Giveaway~

2011-04-07T05:08:00.000-07:00

Normally I stray away from posting about giveaways on other sites... mainly because all the following links and special instructions give me a rather large headache...

But this one is different. This is a giveaway for a Gooseberry Patch Cookbook, and I love Gooseberry Patch. I just love them.

So if you want to enter just follow this link: http://farmhousecountrystyle.blogspot.com/2011/04/gbp-cookbook-review-and-giveaway.html

Book Review: The Lucado Life Lessons Study Bible

2011-04-05T04:53:00.000-07:00

Max Lucado's Newest NKJV Bible is full of resources, including sidebar notes that relate scripture into your life today, Life Lessons that again pull his message straight from scripture passages, notes about the plan of salvation and the path of discipleship, writings from Max Lucado on subjects like grace, forgiveness, guidance and faith, and an index that helps you instantly find anything you need at a moment's glance. And to top it all off Max Lucado has added several different guides for bible studies to fit any one's life.

The bible itself is hard covered, and the print size is extremely easy to read. The messages and notes from Max Lucado are very inspirational, relevant and extremely easy to follow. The messages follow the theme of "Life Lessons" and take you through how to see the scripture in your life, and how it fits, with stories from Max's own life and of those whom he has met.

This quickly became one of my favorite bibles and I would defiantly recommend it to anyone. Unlike many bibles it's not focused on just one aspect or one topic, again it's simply just about using the Word in your own personal life. A definite must read for new Christians as well.

BookSneeze® has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for review.

She Speaks...Fear

2011-03-31T06:54:00.000-07:00

A challenge was brought out, asking for a post that reflected your heart and spoke of God's work. I laughed immediately when I read those words. How odd. How wonderful that I should stumble upon this at this very moment.

Then I stopped laughing all at once, and I felt fear tingle through my veins. My fingers began to shake, and my heart trembled inside. Fear. My fingers are still shaking while I type this.

For the past year my family has been battling a war, a war against our own family. Our own blood. Before our eyes we lost my stepdaughter to a cult, a cult her family created. Fear stopped us from reacting soon enough, fear halts our actions today. Fear.

I've cried, I've prayed... I've begged God to let me help. I've ordered Him to tell me what to do. I've long feared I was missing out on His will for me. Fear shut down my soul, and kept my spirit in constant turmoil.

And then I heard something. A message, a hint, a path. So quiet, so simple... I kept missing it. "Do what you do best." When I finally heard it, I couldn't understand the words. "What do you mean? Do what I do best? What do I do best? Dishes? A human playground for my children?" I didn't get it.

For weeks now I've tried to figure it out. How can any skills I have help my missing stepdaughter? How can I help heal my family? What does God want me to do? Desperation, I felt it, I lived it.

And then I got it. The message, my message. Stop.

Stop everything. Stop fearing what you cannot do. Stop seeing this as a one way eartlhy battle of wills. Stop fearing not being good enough to use your skills. Just stop. Do what you do best. Be there. Share. I can't play the hero on my white horse, rescuing my stepdaughter from the tower of evil... But I can share our story, my story. Maybe my words can save another, maybe they can help my family heal. Maybe, just maybe they can help bring her home.

Fear. I felt it the moment I saw the opportunity for a scholarship to She Speaks. Who am I to even think I can write? But you know what? Who am I to deny the message God has been bringing to me everywhere I look? I will not allow that fear to bring me down the road of "What If's"... I simply can't. I may not be the next hit Young Adult writer, I may be lacking everything it takes to have my works read and known... but I have a story, and I need to tell it. A story on hope and fear. A story that hopefully draws closed with a happy ending... but we'll never know until I begin with page 1.

This post is an entry for the She Speaks Conference. A conference connecting women together in serving God from our hearts, being the daughters and sisters He leads us to be.

Please click HERE to read more about the scholarship opportunity to join the She Speaks Conference.
To learn about the She Speaks Conference you can visit them at http://www.shespeaksconference.com/

Back to Winter

2011-03-30T04:17:00.000-07:00

There's a saying here in Missouri, especially for St.Louis, "If you don't like the weather wait a minute." I'm sure this holds true for many places, but it really is proving itself here this spring. Wait?! We are in spring... right?

Last week I found myself grilling, turning on the attic fan, and shoveling all in the span of 3 days.

Dear Winter, I'll admit that you were extremely pretty, covering my spring blooms in a blanket of white... But I'm still sick of you, and you can leave us alone now. Thanks.

On a Spring Walk

2011-03-24T04:53:00.000-07:00

50 mile per hour winds rocked our house yesterday, but knowing that these winds were soon bringing back winter we ran outside and did some exploring.

The only goal I had with my son was merely to try and get him to slow down, and to look. There were no lessons or planned activities, we just looked. And we tried not to be blown away.

The winds were frightfully strong all day. The news reports said up to 50 mph winds, which caused about 5 wildfires in our area.

I can never remember the name of this plant, but I love that it blooms both pink ad blue flowers. The trick is keeping our son from picking them.

A Cicada shell, most likely left over from the fall. To read more about Cicadas you can go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cicada

Interesting enough I was only trying to take a picture of random plants budding out. When I loaded it onto my computer I was surprised to see that I caught not only a web, but a little spider as well.

I hate to admit that I have no idea what this is. We found it along side our driveway, and I'm still trying to find it on Google...

And of course I was cutting our grass as we went... You have to love never having to buy gas for this lawnmower.

Bedroom Makeover Part 1

2011-03-23T05:09:00.000-07:00

While my husband was home from his surgery he gave me the go-ahead to start re-doing our bedroom. Eh, let me re-state that, he said "While I'm home we could probably get that room done between the two of us." Twenty minutes of stripping wallpaper and I never saw him back in there, lol.

I find my self questioning why I wanted to buy this house, and why we didn't hold out longer. Living in a shoebox sized duplex rental didn't quite open my eyes up to the fact that I was the only do-it-yourselfer in our humble family. I truly am a die hard do-it-yourself person, unless it comes to cars and electricity. But as I trip over the new oven hood time after time, waiting to be installed, I am slowly loosing my fear of electrical projects.

But back to our house. We bought 2 years back, this 50 year old home sitting on 6 acres of Missouri jungle. For the most part it has good bones, but the couple who lived here did almost everything themselves. I'm pretty sure everything was made using scraps, second hand items and factory seconds. For example the molding in our home is different in every room, stained a 50's dark fake wood and glued together in small pieces. And where they didn't glue wood they wallpapered. Every single room is wall to floor, extremely dated and yellowed wallpaper. They wallpapered the kitchen cabinets... Like I said this house has good bones, but every single inch of the home, inside and out needs a ton of work.

I suppose our bedroom falls in the middle of the "the good, the bad and the ugly" scale. But I do believe it was one of the more pieced together rooms. We have 2, yes 2, different types of paneling on 2 walls, with the other two in a very dated floral pattern. The wood again is stained dark as it can go, with the doors painted I'm guessing to match (but it doesn't... looks just like ugly brown paint to me, lol). The kicker is the drop ceiling that was placed below a normal ceiling. The inspector looked around above the ceiling tiles and said he could see no reason for the drop ceiling. I can't help but thinking that the former owner probably just didn't want to have to paint the ceiling so he added the drop instead. Who knows.

For now I'm just going to have to ignore the ceiling, as my budget is small. But one day in the far off future, those tiles will be coming down. Right now I'm having the pleasure of prying off all of the wood work, and stripping off all of that wallpaper. The wallpaper would be the reason why more rooms aren't already re-done in this house. When we removed the wallpaper border in our bathroom it took half of the drywall with it... I hate wallpaper. Luckily I am having much better luck this time around, but with a get into everything baby it is taking me forever to make progress.

We did make a discovery while removing the baseboards. Under that ordinary carpet lays a treasure, a treasure that has me drooling... beautiful, chestnutty, small planked, original wooden floors!!! Yes, wood floors make me drool! We knew wood floors were here, sorta, back when we did the floors in the main part of the house last summer. But they were ruined beyond repair, especially in the kitchen, and parts were cut out when an addition was added years back to that part of the home. I have no idea what the bedroom's floor actually looks like since we only pulled enough carpet up to peak at it. But I will find out, even if it takes me a year to convince my husband, lol, and another year for me to refinish them.

I'm obviously far from being finished in this room, and I will be posting as I make progress. After the paper is gone, I'll be painting. The next step will be spending some major time hitting garage sales and thrift stores to find some furniture that actually fits us, instead of the people who generously blessed us with it years back. Then it will be time to save some major bucks for a large rug in my effort to convince my husband that carpet does not belong in that room! I have a lot of work ahead of me... and to think, I only have 7 more rooms to do when this one is finished!

Teach Them Well

2011-03-20T20:26:00.000-07:00

I've been questioned often on our decision on sending our 5 year old son off to kindergarten this fall. As many of my friends are homeschoolers our decision surprised a lot of people.

This wasn't a decision I made lightly.

Many factors went into this. Mainly the chaos that we're going through with my husband's health, my business, a baby who won't sleep, finances and other issues such as my lack of discipline in areas such as that. Not that I feel the need to defend myself or our choice. But in the times of faulty public education and questionable society ethics I know that I cannot simply send my child out into the world in hopes he'll learn enough to get by.

And I think many of us are in this hard place. Not all of us women are built for the exclusive home school scenario. There's nothing wrong with that. But in accepting our faults, and using the public school system is not letting us off of the hook... not in the least. School cannot begin and end at the opening and closing of the school bus doors, no. It must be carried out in the home... to me, in my opinion, public school is only my backup.

Again I'm defiantly not an expert in child education. My only experience begins and ends with my five year career in a 4 year old program. I could defiantly be going in the wrong direction here, but as for right now I don't see how my "plan" could hurt. And if further down the road I see it hindering my son's growth I will be the first one to slam on the brakes and re-evaluate.

Not that I have a grand plan, because really I don't. After many rave reviews from my friend over at Reformation Acres (hope you don't mind Quinn <3) I have been reviewing the works of Charlotte Mason, and I plan to start implementing what I'm learning into my son's life. I love the idea on how so much can be done in short time periods, knowing I can build heavily in his education, yet still not over burdening him when combined with his day to day school life. I also plan to spend ample time with him and his daily school lessons. Then I believe that a parent should have a relationship with your children's teachers. If you're not fully invested in your child's education I just don't see how they will be fully invested into learning. I know that I learned at a very early age how to just slide by in school... a mistake I still regret today. But it was allowed because of the breakdown in communication and involvement between school and home. Not that my parents weren't involved or they didn't care... but school, even the private schools I attended were a system... a broken system.

So I might have plans of overtaking and running the PTA, dominating the school board, becoming the president and abolishing the department of education all together and other starry-eyed quests. And I get that it just might be easier to figure out how to gain enough discipline to just fully home school him myself... but this is where we are at for now... this is where I believe God has placed us. We'll just have to see how things go and where God brings us. After all, if we are not learning, they are not learning.

The Earthquake Game

2011-03-15T05:56:00.000-07:00

Tell my 5 year old son that there's a tornado warning, and he knows the drill. He grabs his stuffed horse, his shoes and his trusty flashlight. Of course he's had tons of practice living in "Tornado Alley", we've already had a handful of close calls this year alone. But while watching the horrific scenes from Japan I realized something... he hasn't a clue about earthquakes. And we do live on the New Madrid Fault Line.

Now granted the New Madrid is a relatively dead fault line, and from what I've learned it's an entirely different kind of plate system from that in Japan, so the chances of such an epic quake are quite slim. But the last time that line did show it's strength it sent the Mississippi river flowing backwards. Anyway, I digress. Earthquakes along with other natural disasters are always a very real future no matter where you live. And my son hadn't a clue what to do, nor did he know what an earthquake was.

So we quickly went about playing the earthquake game. We played the "what if" game in each room, finding the safest place to hide in each room. And I want to take this time to ask all of my readers to do the same with your kids today. This isn't about panicking, or breeding fear into ourselves or into our children, but just making sure they and yourselves know what to do in case of any emergency. Teach them emergency exits, crawling under smoke, protecting their heads and the like. Keep it fun and do it often. Find a safe place outside, a home base. Teach them 911, and do it today. Knowing that my son can rush to protect himself gives me a little peace at mind, especially with a baby at home if the need ever be, and I'm the only one here.

Many prayers for all of those in Japan, our hearts are with you.

A Small Success

2011-03-06T17:54:00.000-08:00

I stumbled upon a small gardening success the other day, and I found it somewhat important to share. You see, despite the general failure I had last year with getting a garden started, an unplanned win showed through.

Last year I was aiming towards a gardening method known as lasagna gardening. Which in short is making raised beds using mostly compost, which is perfect if you live on a rock farm as I do. And doubly perfect when you have an abundance of compost material... like an untouched 2 acres of overgrowth.

So I worked, piling high cut dead grass and random overgrowth, topping it off with goat bedding. Until I was stopped short by copperhead snakes, 100+ temps and being extremely pregnant. I had to hang up my "boots" and call it quits for that season. But give up I did not. We were blessed with a 60* day recently and I gathered up my nerves, and my snake boots and ventured back out. To my surprise I found that my previous work... had almost worked. The three beds I had started last spring had successfully killed off all of the random growth and had left behind nice clear paths with black rich soil. The bad news was that the growth around these beds was once again much like a jungle, and without continuous applications of compost material the beds were back flat to the ground, much too compact to plant in. The good news is that I simply was able to pick up my scrap wood and rock borders and flip them to the other side where the overgrowth was... essentially starting over again, but this time I have nice clear paths to work on... which snakes do not like.

This year I'm going with a different game plan... one raised bed at a time. No extensive garden charts, no seed orders... I'm just trying to make progress. My first goal is to get a permanent raised bed ready for strawberries for this season. I choose strawberries because they excel in our area, and the grocery store ones are less than appetizing... not to mention the ease of storage. And the bonus is not having to replant them next year. If I get that done with time to spare I'll start in on the next raised bed, and plant based on the growing times left in the year.

So back to the important part of this post... every small step, every tiny success is better than not trying at all. One day I'll have my fabulous garden, but for now I have a fabulous path and that's all that matters.

Do it for You!

2011-02-24T07:58:00.000-08:00

In light of my husband's surgery I've learned a lot of things lately on our skeletal structure, mainly our spines. Little things we women tend to shove aside, like sore backs , headaches and more can be causing extreme damage to our bodies.

I know I for one slipped a disc in my lower back years ago, like over 10 years back. It's a repeating injury, coming and going... but I press on. Swallow my Tylenol and keep at my life. But that one little injury can cause huge damage, without even knowing it. But there are things we can do everyday to lessen damage down to our bodies. Such as core exercises and correcting our posture.

So today I'm asking everyone to take a few minutes a day to stop what you're doing, and check your posture. Are you slumped in your chair? Crumpled over the sink? Lifting with your back? These little habits can permanently damage your spine... and ask my husband, fixing the damage is no an easy feat.

Sites on Posture Information:

Do yourself a favor and stand up straight! Mom was right!

Vacation

2011-02-18T05:30:00.000-08:00

As you can probably guess things are still somewhat hectic around here. My husband is still on a long healing path, but feeling better... but still has weeks to go, if not months before he'll be back to being able to help me with what I call "man's work".

I suppose that's why I haven't been able to come up with anything to blog on lately... my brain is filled to the brim with other pressing issues. Mainly financial... all of which I need to learn to trust and let go. I guess I just want to be prepared for any more worst case scenarios that might show up at our door. But none of this is the point of this post.

We'll be leaving for our first family vacation in I don't know how many years. A quick 3 day outing to see my husband's family up north. I can only laugh at how much planning has to go into such a short trip. (That and the fact that this sun baby is planning a trip to MN in the middle of winter, I must be loosing my mind)

We're flying to save time, and to keep my husband from going through a long drive. The rules and regulations from the airline and TSA are overwhelming when it comes to traveling with children. Between figuring out how to keep a 7 month old and a 5 year old happy and comfortable, fed and entertained all with complying to the long list of do's and don'ts... yikes. I've asked my husband probably 10 times if we could just drive. Yes I'd rather be in a car for a whole day with two kids then the quick 1 1/2 hour flight.

My goal is to be packed and ready minus bed time snugglies days in advanced. I want to enjoy my vacation along with everyone else. I worry about that. Me being so busy trying to keep things running smoothly that I won't get my vacation. I have to start de-stressing myself now. I have to rid myself of expectations, and release all the worries of having everything fall on my shoulders. I get like that. You know, wanting everything to be perfect, and then I get upset when I'm left to do all the work and then I miss out on all the good stuff. I don't know if there's a way to completely avoid all of this, but I'm going to try. But only to a point where I know that I have done my best.

So we'll be leaving on the 28th, and despite my worries I'm still excited about this much needed break for our family. Keep us in your prayers that we can relax and get the rest we all truly need.

Dear Fellow Moms... Help!

2011-02-15T04:34:00.000-08:00

Sophia is officially 7 months old today. I love her more than air, caffeine and chocolate combined. She can sit up on her own, crawl, yell out for anyone of us and melt your heart instantly with a smile. But we have a problem... a huge problem in my eyes... mommy has only slept more than 4 hours one time in the past 9 months... I can store her diapers in the bags under my eyes, honestly.

You can always bet on her waking up and wanting to nurse at least 2 times a night... we've done recently a 4 time night. I'm getting to where I hate going to bed because I know at any moment I'm just going to have to get up.

I'm at a loss as what to do. Her brother never had an issue at night, he started sleeping through the night at 2 months old. I've been trying my best to keep her from napping during the day, or at least cutting short naps if she really needs one with no success. She eats 3 full meals a day, and nurses more times than I can count... I'm wondering if she needs a fourth meal or if I need to transition her to a bottle. Her doctor only shrugged when I complained about her not sleeping through the night... "She's just an active healthy girl." Thanks, but I'm just exhausted beyond belief!

Over nine months now with hardly any sleep. I need some ideas, some tips, some suggestions... I need help. This momma is running on empty, and it's defiantly showing in my health and spirit.

Things Just Happen

2011-01-30T05:37:00.000-08:00

We planned for my husband to have a pretty simple surgery a few months down the road. We planned to save this and that, and to be prepared.

God had other plans.

The bad news is that my husband had to have semi-emergency surgery on his neck, involving un-doing an old fusion, taking out a disc, fusing four discs and removing several bone spurs. Not quite the simple quick procedure we were gearing up for... and we weren't ready in any form to have it happen when it did.

The good news is that the surgery went well... as well as surgery can go, and recovery is going... okay.

It has been a trying past two weeks, and I'm sure it will continue to test us for a while longer as my husband continues to recover, and I continue to try and figure out how to loose my fear of his evil chainsaw as we are expecting a week full of freezing rain and one foot snows.

As things slow down around here I'm sure I'll get back to my regular posting.

Finding That Other Thing in Life

2011-01-13T05:30:00.000-08:00

I'm young. Young in that I'm not an mtv mom but not quite all the way seasoned young. I'm still figuring out my place in the world. Which all led to an interesting conversation last night with my husband. You see, I know where my place in this world is. That's easy. I don't question that. I also know my main task in life. Check. Got it... thank God daily for the opportunity. But what's that other thing? The thing that lays outside of the children, dishes, laundry, husband and meals... the thing that makes me... well... me?

I probably gave my husband a headache as I continued on with my description of what I was looking for. I'll spare you the novel. In short I've been searching for the thing I have a knack at... something beyond dishes and diapers... something that will fill the time the day I'm not chasing kids around all day (like that will happen, lol)... you know... that calling besides motherhood.

His first response I expected... the calling is still your family. Humph. And I have to say it's not that I'm ungrateful, or that I don't love what I do and have... I do. But my head, heart and soul can't rest on just that... I envy the women who can. And then with a smile, he announced, what he trusts 'that other thing' to be. I was a wee bit stunned. The one thing I struggle at with the most, the one thing I'm the hardest on myself about... the one thing I long accepted defeat to. The one thing I still have oodles of passion for, and he hit it on the nail.

So he does pay attention! Lol. Better attention, than what I give myself. He instantly pegged something I've been fretting over for years... I should have asked him a long time ago. That new encouragement he has given me has really lit my fire in all aspects of my life... it's amazing what a few unexpected words can do. Even if I had to start the converstion.

Where we Stand

2011-01-12T04:58:00.000-08:00

I've struggled this week to come up with an entry to share with everyone. My crafts are all still halfway done, no amazing recipes to share (unless you want a how to on cooking bagged mash potatoes or canned corn... no?), my head is empty of great insight and my camera has remained untouched all week...

We are kind of at an odd point over here. Our son and my husband had both been sick, the baby refuses to sleep through the night... and now my husband is going to have to have surgery on his neck... again. I think our brains are all fried and hardly functioning at this point.

It's like one of those situations where you're just too spent to worry too much... yet our mind can't press forward beyond the daily to-do's. I think it's the whole '6+ weeks with only half pay' that has us stumped. Not that we'll die and wither up... but that the past few months have been plagued with enough challenges... and all that we really want is a nice long break from anything trying. But that's not God's plan... or if it is, we're doing something wrong.

And then there's the kicker at the end of this tunnel, or perhaps it's at the midway point. The most likely cause for the need of surgery stems from my husband's current career. So if we truly want him to recover fully he probably needs a new career. Yikes. We knew that would be coming... but we planned on this years from now... not now. Again, silly us for assuming we were in control. (And I suppose some where in here I should add the worry that comes with any surgery... but I've talked my mind into thinking that everything will go perfectly)

It's pretty much like we're standing outside watching the dark clouds roll in. They might just pass us by... or it could open up with hail and tornadoes. It's still too early to run down to the basement, but we still have to plan for the just in case.

So I'm trying with all my heart to give this one to God. Every last little bit. Give me the hope to stay strong and to continue moving forward. Give me the sense to find the blessings in this situation. The wisdom to learn from it. And whatever else I may need.

I hate to say everyone's last famous words... but I do know that this could be much worse, and that we are lucky to only have these few road blocks at this moment. Perhaps the right word is 'blessed' and not lucky. For we are indeed blessed.

Embrace It

2011-01-08T08:32:00.000-08:00

The winds of change are blowing through our lives right now... some of those changes good, others not so much. There's not so much you can do when things out of your control happen... you can fight what God brings to your door step or you can embrace it.

You can sit and howl at the heavens, "Why me? Why us? Why now?" Or you can pray quietly, "What is your plan here Father?"

You can cry or you can face it with full confidence.

I choose to embrace the challenges.

I choose to keep moving forward.

I have lived enough to know that road blocks are man made, and the curvy roads offer a better view of the scenery anyway...

Bread, It's My Curse

2011-01-08T06:26:00.000-08:00

One of my goals this year is to learn the skill of making that elusive, perfect loaf of everyday bread. You see I've made bread before... probably a dozen times... and well, it never turns out. I've hand kneaded, bread machine kneaded (and baked), I've proofed, I've cried. I'm doing something horribly wrong. But admit defeat I will not... I shall succeed. I'm just sick of wasting time and the ingredients. I have a handful of recipes and I'm searching for a dough hook for my mixer... I shall win. Lol. So what's your advice? Any favorite recipes? Wanna come bake with me?

A Mirror

2011-01-07T05:28:00.000-08:00

My grandmother had a mirror that she just absolutely adored. I can't say how long she had this mirror, but it's been around my entire short 29 years... so we know it's well over 30 years old. This mirror followed her in every home... she even turned down a fancy new vanity in a home that was being built so she could hang this mirror instead... she loved this mirror.

For the past 10 years, the mirror has sat in my mother's basement gathering dust, hidden behind boxes. It seems as though no one loved the faux gold painted mirror as much as my grandma did... but everyone loved her too much to part with one of her favorite things.

Over the holidays I learned of the many treasures my family still kept that were just laying around in basements across town. They were kept because they were her things... but they were unloved, unwanted things. And they defiantly were not my grandma.

Like her older than heck cookie press and decorating set. Yes, I can say older than heck because the price tag reads $1.00. My husband nearly had a heart attack as I whipped it out of the ancient crumbling box and began to stuff spritz dough into it. "That's ancient you shouldn't use it! It's a collector!" I shook my head at him, laughing as I 'pressed' my way down memory lane. I could hear my grandma chuckle "shucks... just use it... but clean it well and put it back when you're done." She would have been appalled at the thought of me buying a new press when there's a perfectly good one lying around.

Back to the mirror. It was hidden in the basement because no one had decor that matched an elaborate golden mirror, but everyone was afraid to depart with it. I couldn't imagine a lady from the depression era finding approval with that. Her prized mirror, hidden, she would have said "That's a shame". So I did the unthinkable... I painted that faux gold... white. And guess what... no brimstone rained down on me from above... no ghosts have chased after me unleashing heck on my home. Nope. Nothing. I have a beautiful white mirror, gracing my dinning room wall... reminding me of the beauty of my grandma that I miss deeply.

I'm sure my family is still trying to recover from the shock, as they guard cautiously all of their basement dwelling heirlooms... keeping them exactly the way she had them in her home. But why? Love your heirlooms, but use them... make them your's so you can treasure them daily, instead of just on your trips into your basement. The memories cannot be hidden by paint, I promise. What heirlooms do you have hidden?

~Simplify~

2011-01-04T07:04:00.000-08:00

I was on the phone the other day with a distant friend. I had called her to offer support on her never ending struggles of being a single parent... but then she stopped me in my tracks, she told me that she had no clue how I did everything I did... my daily life overwhelmed her... a single mom with a job and college. What? I had not a clue what she was talking about. She quickly listed off my daily duties that I have spoken about in the past... she was right, I had tons on my plate... but the funny thing was, I didn't have one thing to show for it. I was making my own life too complicated.

I tell my son I'll play with him when I'm done cleaning... but I never finish cleaning and can never truly enjoy my time with him, because I'm too worried about my list of things to do. I can't take off with my dog training business, because I have too much to do in the house, and too little time. I can't craft to sell things, because I don't have the space or time... I am my own worst enemy.

And so it all clicked last night, reading the bible. I read some passage about over complicating faith and God, and how we should just simply believe. Duh. To get more out of your faith you have to put away your brain, your complications and just have faith. So why can't I do that in my entire life? I'm pretty sure I can. The key I believe, is to simplify everything... one small step at a time. To clear off my over crowded plate, wipe it shiny and new, and stack just one piece of life on it at a time. That doesn't mean that I have to give up my ambitions for everything I want to do... Ambitions give us purpose and direction.

To simplify my life I must first declutter it... both my mind, soul and home. It's all related. If your faith is off, you're off... if your home is a wreck so is your mind... when your mind is off your faith is off... Something so simple as not being able to find your car keys can really wreck your whole day. It's wasted time to be searching for something so small... you get angry by the second, the kids get restless... time keeps ticking by. Had there been less clutter and more obvious spaces to keep the keys you would have already been out the door and on with your day. Simplify. It's my theme for the year.

Yesterday I spent hours clearing out our dinning room, only to have my husband come home and mention only about what I had not done. That's just typical man thought, and I reminded myself that... I had to simplify my mind's reactions. I know what I have left to do BUT I know all that I got done. I simply shut my mouth, and pointed towards what I accomplished. I left it at that. Hours later on his own, he remarked on all that I did in the dining room. Humph. So it can be that easy. And he can clear his plate from the dining room table... I just have to simplify my mind and keep my mouth shut. Imagine that.

So it all might not be that easy. Life rarely is... but it is refreshing. Just like taking down all of those Christmas decorations that felt so warm and inspiring to put up. It feels like weight has been removed from our home, giving us room to breath. Just simple little things, and simple little steps. What can you do to simplify your life today?

In Like a Lion, Out Like a Lamb. Not Quite.

2011-01-03T11:14:00.000-08:00

Two F-3 tornadoes, several smaller ones.. winds reaching over 135 mph. 3 confirmed deaths, 20+ homes destroyed. 2010 did not go out quietly in our neck of the woods.

It's hard to see in this live news' snapshot, but that would be a funnel cloud above/behind the Arch. It never did touch down. Allthough we are in 'Tornado Alley' tornadoes don't gather this much strength around here from all the hills, trees and buildings... but then again you'd be a fool to assume anything about weather here.

Anywho, we were lucky this time and escaped with only some trees damaged, the same with the rest of our family. But after all of the holidays... I'm not so sure that the tornadoes did not sneak into my home... I'm waiting for the mayor to send in FEMA to help me clean it up. But we know how reliable FEMA is, lol. So I suppose I need to get to work. I hope you all had a much calmer and safer new years!

Tornadoes

2010-12-31T15:48:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, I just wanted to drop in quickly and ask for prayers. Where I live in Missouri, in Jefferson County/St.Louis just got slammed by a series of tornadoes this afternoon. At my home we were blessed with only loosing a few trees, but lives were taken by this storm, as well as the storm in Arkansas. We even had a funnel cloud at the arch, that thankfully never touched down. Anyway, I haven't had the time to download any photos as we have been cutting wood all afternoon... but the damage around here is severe. So if you could please keep the families of my town in your prayers as many now are starting the new year without homes and family members.

Thank you.

Thank You

2010-12-30T07:53:00.000-08:00

I tend to look at Christmas as my "New Year" more so than the 1st, there's just something redeeming and refreshing about the birth of Jesus... something a change of the calendar just cannot give me. This time of year is when I begin my spring cleaning, both of my home and myself. If only winter ended the day after Christmas, I'd be in real heaven, lol.

Anyhow, I just wanted to drop in for a minute and thank all of my readers and friends for their fellowship over the past year, and to extend many blessings for the new year. If I get a moment to breathe there should be a give away coming soon to celebrate a year at this blog! So again, thank you to everyone! See ya next year <3

A Tour, My Home Journal

2010-12-27T09:53:00.000-08:00

One of my items on my list of 101 things to do, is to re-hab my 'home journal' or what some call the control journal. Today I started in on this task, following still the basic guidelines described at http://www.flylady.net/ but adjusting it to what suits me best.

On opening you'll find my basic tools... my favorite pink pens, highlighter etc. Then I have a printed copy of Proverbs 31. Nothing fancy or elaborate.. I'll spare you the page by page photos, lol.

After the basics I have my daily schedules, starting with the morning, afternoon and evening routines... followed by a Monday - Friday list. I also have a page protector filled with daily docket printouts from http://www.simplemom.net/ in case the mood strikes me to plan ahead.

Next is my weekly section. Here I have a list of things I hope to complete by the end of every week, and I have the detailed 'zone' instructions from Fly Lady. This section still needs major tweaking as my scattered brain hates working on just one room every week... but it's a jumping off place.

Following my weekly section I have a yearly tab. This is brand new to my journal so I have yet to place much more than a pretty piece of paper in it. I plan on recording major tasks we do over the next year in here so I can better prepare for the next year.

After that I have a section for projects and tasks that I might come across or want to plan. And that is followed by finances. Normally in our house I stay far away from the finances and budgeting as it is not my strong suit... but recently I've slowly been taking over. So I plan on using this section to just simply record the bills this year, so I can tackle a budget later on... after I have a better idea of what we do spend and so on.

And then at the back I have a full year of calendar pages printed out, for the obvious reasons.

I have yet to add in a menu and grocery section, that's still on my list of to-do's as are many other things. But for now that's a quick look into my binder.. now it's time to go use it!

Luminaries

2010-12-22T12:36:00.000-08:00

I stumbled upon another quick gift idea this morning, and had to rush right out and make it. I think it's that cool, and of course I'm still working on gifts as well, lol. I can still blame being behind on the baby... right? Anywho, for complete instructions on the RIGHT way to make these please visit Crafts by Amanda .

Now of course I did not read the full how to's before I hit the store, as my crafting tends to be but an after thought. So I had to come up with my own way to make these with what I had on hand. Hello Mr.Glue Gun, I think I might be falling in love with you. So I madly globbed on the hot glue, rolled my jar in the salt, pressed firmly, and voila. Again, you'll probably be better off following Amanda's directions.

~5~

2010-12-17T04:38:00.000-08:00

Our boy just turned five this week, this is a huge deal, because you know Now he is a big boy. Now he says he can do all of those big guy stuff, like protecting his baby sister from bears. I don't dare tell him that we don't really have bears (just don't get into that topic with the old guy at the corner, dang it, he saw one yesterday, lol), or that he couldn't possibly fight a bear bare handed... I'm just happy he wants to protect his baby sister, maybe we are doing something right.

I also don't dare tell him that I still watch him sleep at night, and will forever think of him as my baby, my firstborn... I'll never forget his first smile.

He's excited because now he's not 4 or 3. Although he says he liked being 3, and that the next time he's 3 I can play with his three year old toys.

He's been telling everyone he meets about his being five now. He had an hour conversation with the waiter at Applebee's yesterday, that drew everyone around us to our table. It started with him announcing that he's five and ended with him explaining that if Applebee's really wanted him to be happy that they would have blue smoothies. He's never had one before, but he knows it would be really cool. And by the way, he thinks they took too long making his food... which happened because he stopped everyone from working to tell them that he was five.

This year he knew exactly what kind of cake he wanted. He wanted a train tracks cake, like when he was 3... or a stormy cake. I wasn't quite sure what a stormy cake would involve, so we stuck with the train tracks... he said it was the best cake he had ever had in his life. I love that boy.

Then we explained to him how you should make a wish before you blow out your candles. He squinted his eyes tightly shut, let loose a huge grin, and said "I wishes that I gots the best mommy in the whole wide world!" I REALLY love that boy, even if he's writing Santa a letter on how bad I've been.

~Apron Love~

2010-12-10T04:45:00.000-08:00

This year I joined in on my first ever swap done via the Internet... I think I might have a new addiction! This one, a Christmas Apron Swap, was graciously hosted by Sue at Country Pleasures, please stop in at her blog, it really is lovely!

And this is what greeted me at my mailbox Wednesday...

My photo does no justice for this beautiful gift! I was trying to experiment with my settings, and well, killed my batteries... the last of my batteries!

Is it not just perfect?! Mandi from Whispering Christmas Dreams (please share some love with her beautiful Christmas blog too!) made this for me, and I couldn't be more excited! And I also have a secret to admit, this is my first and only apron that I have, so the fact that it's not Christmasy is Perfect! I truly could go on and on about this. Thank you Mandi!
Now I must go off on a search for more swaps...

I'm in Awe

2010-12-09T04:10:00.000-08:00

A baby, a child, so small, so tiny. Filled with burps, spit-em-ups and dirty diapers. One day would grow to become our savior. How much more Amazing could God be?

-obviously that picture is not Jesus, but my stinky Sophie... I still find myself amazed everytime I hold her...

Semi~Homemade Soap

2010-12-08T05:28:00.000-08:00

I have slight obsession with anything beautiful and handmade. I thrive on making things from scratch, but I have realized that if it's not practical, meaning if I can't make it with what I already have, I won't make it. After all I live out in the boonies, and my local stores are far from carrying anything beyond your basic grocery needs... so I have to adapt. (maybe one day I'll jump on the Internet shopping bandwagon, maybe)

I fell in love with the look and idea of handmade soaps. I mean after all they are gorgeous looking, but they're far from my idea of practical. Hello lye, in my home... we'd all end up poisoned, somehow. Maybe one day when my son no longer licks my counters, and I'm allowed more than 5 minutes of concentration on a project... maybe then I'll try the real stuff. But for now I share with you my solution to getting that homemade soap fix.

You'll need:

bars of plain Ivory soap, lots of them (shhhhhh! This is the secret ingredient)
an old crock pot or a microwavable bowl
random herbs, scented oils and what have you to add in
cookie cutters, empty pringles cans, empty and cleaned buttermilk containers and so on... you'll see...

Shred your Ivory soap. You can grate it, chop it, or just widdle it down with a knife. The more you break it down, the quicker the process moves, and the smoother your final product is.
Dump your soap into your crock pot (microwave instructions in a minute), adding in just a half cup of water or so... the more water you add, the smoother your soap, but the longer it takes to dry
Set the crock pot on high or medium heat, smooshing your soap until it resembles Vaseline. Smooshing causes a better blend than stirring.
Add in your desired mix-ins. I usually go with oatmeal, Rosemary and or basil. I have added in tea tree oil, essential oils, and the oil from vitamins... basically what ever I already have in the house. Smoosh some more.

you can slice off any rough areas later

Microwave:

Dump your shredded Ivory into a microwavable bowl, adding in about 1/4th cup of water.
Nuke for a minute, smoosh and repeat. Watch for the soap to foam, it will boil over if you're not careful. You can add in more water as you go if needed, just remember the more water you use, the longer it will take for your soaps to dry.
Keep nuking and smooshing until the soap is all melted and resembles Vaseline, then quickly smoosh in your add-ins.

Vaseline like stage

Finishing up:

There's several ways to set your soap. If your mixture is thick, you can carefully scoop it into cookie cutters set on a cookie sheet. Allow to set halfway, then carefully pop out your soap, then repeat. This is best if you are using the crock pot method, since you can keep the rest of the soap warm as you wait.
Or you can pour the soap into a pringles can or an empty milk carton. Pour it all in, then tap vigorously to remove all the gaps and air bubbles. Allow to sit over night. Then peel off the wrapping and slice into your desired sizes.

Be careful as you peel, your soap will still be soft and easily flawed.

You could also use soap, candle or candy molds... but I never have those on hand!

Allow your soap to fully dry before wrapping, or the moisture and add ins will grow mold! Not that this has ever happened to me...

If you aren't happy with your finished product, you can always just chop it back up, and start over again... that's the beauty of it. I discovered with this batch that I had not tapped it enough after I poured it. You can see some air holes in my pictures, but I'm not so sure that I mind since I was going for a rustic look to start with. To get the white stripes simply add in some slivers of un-melted soap at the very end. Be creative!

I also have to mention that I do not know the safety of making soaps in a crock pot that you may or may not want to use again for food. But I would have to think if you're just using soap and herbs that you should be fine... but please use your own judgement there!

If you make this project I'd love to see your results and ideas, please feel free to link your project here!

I'm Working on Something

2010-12-07T05:15:00.000-08:00

It's no surprise that I have a project in the works... I pretty much always have something I'm working on... but I didn't want to let my blog grow quiet as I worked away at my newest scheme. I've been inspired by one of my new favorite blogs, http://www.thenester.com/ . I'm overhauling my entire house, room by room and on the cheap. Actually I'm not quite disciplined enough to go room by room, it's more like spot by spot. A painted dresser here, a cleaned out closet there, but hey, it's progress... flylady would be so proud!

But like I said, I'm doing it as cheaply as possible, shopping around my house instead of at the stores... and it's actually working out rather well! Who cares if I use up that old can of exterior paint indoors... it was free to me!

Needless to say, I'm pretty excited, but I still have tons to do (including finding my camera so I can share my progress). So stay tuned for updates, and feel free to share your ideas and join in on my thrifty makeover journey!

~Trimming the Fat~

2010-12-03T05:57:00.000-08:00

I seem to have a few flaws... ok, ok, several flaws... one of those being randomness and the inability to stay on task. Slide me through the 10 online medical test I somehow ended up at yesterday and they all claim I'm dyslexic too, go figure. But anyways, this is not about on-line medical diagnosis sites (not that I put stock in them anyway). This about the fact that I have 500 things going on in my life right now, and that I am choosing this time as a perfect time to schedule in a complete blog renovation. Makes perfect sense right? So please excuse my mess, as I delete, re-add then delete again content, links and so-forth. Hopefully this won't take too long... (you may laugh now)

~101 Things to do~

2010-12-02T08:06:00.000-08:00

Today I'm going to share with you my master list for 2011. Somethings I'll be starting on now, others will be waiting for the new year to arrive. The purpose of a 101 list is not so much the time frame, but more of a way to pat yourself on the back while getting things done around your home and in your life. First of all it limits the amount of expectations you put on yourself while giving you reasonable goals. After all a year has 365 days, surly one can get 101 things done in that time. The second part is that you actually get to look back and say, dang I got all of that done!

My list in no particular order:

Hannah's Blanket
Sophie's Blanket
Gabe's quilt
living room afghan
re-side the goat hut
paint the goat hut
re-fence the chicken coop
paint the chicken coop
scrub upstairs bathroom walls
paint upstairs bathroom
re-finish bathroom ceiling
paint the laundry room
re-read the bible from start to finish
de-clutter paper
fence the garden site
have a garden, lol
build compost fencing
enter a trial with journey
have an herb garden
order seeds
build a seed starting shelf with grow lights
purge clothes
organize closets
clear out and stock pantry
paint kitchen
re-hab dinning room light
seal basement stairs
start running again
buy chickens and keep chickens, lol
build a brooding box
find critiquers for novel
finish editing novel
find an agent
finish basement re-hab
make a rag rug for kitchen
learn how to and get wood stockpiled
open an online store
learn how to can
learn how to make bread, eh hem, learn how to make good bread, lol
do something with our fire pit area
cut bills in half once again
use up all of my current yarn stockpile
make a family quilt
purge basement junk
have a garage sale
put scrap books together
make birthday cards for the whole year
visit family in Minnesota
take a fun family vacation
find a church
plan and have date nights with the hubby
paint dining room
make curtains for the master bedroom
wildflower patch for fresh cut flowers
re-hab my blog
make dry mixes from scratch
put in screen doors
finish up the side flower garden
plant a strawberry patch
plan an orchard for the future
finish and use my control journal
finish and use a garden journal
make gloves for everyone
make hats for everyone
re-hab my 'desk' area
print photos
put up a ceiling fan and new lights in kitchen
build at least 3 raised beds in the garden
start research on keeping cattle and hogs
meet with vets in our area to promote my business
attend one dog show
learn how to paint
read at least 20 books
go camping
tour the wolf sanctuary
go fishing
go hunting with my husband
use menu planning
plan and plant a small rose garden
learn a new craft
update my cookbook
make dresses for sophie
set up a savings plan for a new car
purge laundry room closet
purge sophie's closet
make blankets for guest
start building agility equipment
make/buy dining room chair cushions
re-finish kitchen counters
be ready for Christmas before Thanksgiving
finish pond garden
plant more evergreens
clean out lean to
tithe
update all business paperwork
make painted plate decorations with kids
organize movies and books
learn how to cook with whole grains and beans
learn how to make candles and soap from scratch
clear out land around gas tank
I'm leaving this one blank to fill in later ;p

So that's my master list, filled with anything I could think of. I hope you will join in as well. Just take some time to write your list, adding in anything and everything you can think of. There's no pressure and no hurry with this, it's all about doing what you can, when you can, and being proud of what you get to cross off. Please feel free to leave a link here for your 101 list.

DIY Yarn Ornaments

2010-12-01T12:37:00.000-08:00

I wish I could remember where I found this idea, I just love it! If it was yours please let me know and I'd be happy to give you proper credit. Such a quick and easy project, just perfect for using up extra yarn that's cluttering your stash!

You'll Need:

Yarn. Any weight, any material, any color and length.
Glue. Any kind of craft glue.
Ornament hooks

Simply wind your yarn into a tight ball and secure the end with glue. Let dry. Then carefully tuck in your hook, or create a loop to hang them with using more yarn. Voila! You could even use them to top packages or gift bags, they're super easy and quick to make.

Some Things Just Suck

2010-11-30T11:17:00.000-08:00

I just cannot think of a better title, or of a better way to put it. It's just part of life, things will and shall suck. Of course they always get better... I know that.

I just had the privilege (I'm using this word lightly) of telling our 4 year old (almost 5) that his best friend, his dog will be joining God in heaven tonight. Beyond a human's death I cannot imagine a worse thing to ever have to tell him. I suppose I could have lied, never told him, and just ignore the subject like I did with the chicks, but that didn't feel right. I had to tell him the truth, I only wish I didn't have to.

Luke, is only 7 but had unexplainable became sick a few weeks back. His nose swelled, and he stopped eating completely. We have been spending every waking minute of our lives medicating him, force feeding him and spoiling him like crazy... nothing worked longer than a day here, or a day there. Nothing. I pulled out every trick I could come up with, things the vet didn't even think about with no success. I suppose when God calls a creation home there's just no fighting it. Yet I've been plagued... over 10 years in the dog field, a trainer, a vet tech, boarding specialist... why can't I save him? But I can't. I can't save him.

So I had to break the news to our son. We cried together, we hugged and kissed our best friend, we told him we loved him, and we cried some more. Such is life... it can really suck. I still feel as if I failed them both. I know I haven't, but feelings can be so strong.

Gabe now knows that Lukie is going back to God where he'll be sick no longer, where he can chase deer without getting in trouble and eat tennis balls until his heart is content. Gabe's sad, but as is the mind of a child, he's off chasing his cat... I'm very jealous.

But we'll all make it through this, as we always do. I'd much rather loose the life of a perfect dog than one of a human, but I think this nap time I'll keep crying a little bit more while my son is fast asleep. That's how I need to cope. Thank you for allowing me to cry on your shoulders a little bit... Stupid animals, making us love them.

Planning, Scheaming and Dreaming

2010-11-30T05:21:00.000-08:00

There's only one thing I love to get in the mail more than packages and that's fresh shiny new seed catalogs! I felt like spring had arrived when my husband handed me the 2011 Pinetree Garden Seeds catalog yesterday. I could almost feel the warmth of the sun again... or maybe that was just because I was standing next to the heat vent... but anyways... With no baby in the tummy I am more determined now than ever to have a garden this year. Stand back copperheads, momma's gonna have her way! LOL. I hope.

Last year's attempts failed in more than one way. All five of my chicks got eaten, and not by us, my compost became a snake breeding ground, as did my lasagna bed attempts... and then of course I was pregnant, very pregnant and our daily temps were well over 100*. But this year I get to start all over again from scratch, and I couldn't be more excited. I'm incredibly blessed with over an acre of former horse pasture, just waiting for someone to do something with it.

As you can see it's a whole lot of Missouri Jungle in there, oh and one goat, lol. The biggest obstacle are the rocks... there's millions of them, making in hard to do much of anything, all though it does keep me from every having to trim the goats hooves!

So my long term goals are to fence off the entire field, and to cross fence it, as it's more than obvious that I will not be having horses any time soon. Ideally I'd like us to become as self sufficient as possible, so I'd like to fence it for cows, hogs and what have you. I'd also like to convert that old lean-to in the back into more of a barn like structure. Right now it sits empty and makes an excellent place to gut deer (yuck). The upper half I'd like to reserve for a large garden, complete with a water pump of it's own and a garden shed. In the very far left corner you can barely see the current goat hut, that joins the chicken coop, both need to be completely re-habbed, and neither have fencing. (well the coop has some fencing, but we know how well that worked, lol) And where the orange bucket sits is my sad excuse of a compost pile.

To say I have a lot of work to do would be a major understatement! But we are now coming into snake hibernation season, and it's time to get to work. I just am not too sure on where or how to start. Many have suggested doing small burns out there daily to clear away the brush and chase out the snakes, then to follow that with heavy dose treatments of garlic oil, moth balls and the like to keep the snakes from every coming back. We have recently added a barn cat to our family, so I'm hoping he'll help out as well.

I have 2 issues that are going to slow my progress down. Number one would be cost. I have to keep it next to nothing with a new baby, a very sick dog and the reno of our basement for my dog training business. Number two is that I have to do this all with very little help, while still maintaining my other responsibilities. But such is life, and I just have to learn to work with what God has given me. In the long run I know all my struggles will be worth it, especially when that first harvest comes in.

So now I need your input. Ideas, suggestions, even if it's just on how to schedule my time to get this work done. How would you plan this? Where would you start? Any ideas on fencing? Money saving tips? Wanna come out and help, lol? Any recommended reads or sites? I do have the book linked at the top, and I have found it helpful, although it does lack money saving ideas.

~Time For Something New~

2010-11-29T11:20:00.000-08:00

This morning I was working on my next blog post to share with everyone... and then I stopped, I re-read every word I wrote and thought 'dang, this sounds just like my last 6 or so posts, when did my blog get so somber?'. So I deleted it. Every last word. Every last thought. And then I felt better.

It is way past do here in my neck of the woods for a change. It's time for something new.

I don't know where this breath of fresh air shall lead me, so far it has me re-arranging my entire living room, but I feel good right now... I feel confident, and as if I'd been given a second chance. So I'm running with it. And I just had to share the happiness I'm stumbling upon. I will be praying that it is a contagious epidemic... So here's too Christmas Miracles, I can feel them brewing already!

In other news I did manage to get another project done. This Knit Christmas Stocking is from The Gooseberry Patch Christmas magazine I found at Walmart. It's super huge, but pretty easy, I'm hoping to alter this pattern later to my taste, and maybe put some up for sale!

A Thanksgiving Wish

2010-11-24T07:46:00.000-08:00

I don't really have the time nor the energy to post today, but it only feels right to offer out my thanks to my fellow readers. Thank you for all of your words of wisdom, support and advice. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, and thank you for being my friends!

I hope this Holiday finds you all with full stomachs, happy hearts, and joyous memories.

May your children be helpful and calm (lol, mine are driving me up the wall) and may your husbands be even more helpful... or is it just mine who asked me at 5am this morning to go to Walmart during a thunderstorm with 2 children???

And again, I hope you have a perfect Thanksgiving! See you all next week!

Recipe: Chocolate Pretzels and a Link

2010-11-23T07:04:00.000-08:00

First off, visit this site: http://www.ourbestbites.com/ they have tons of tested, family friendly recipes... I'm an addict on that site, honestly, they're awesome.

Now for my quick and easy recipe for this week...

Chocolate Dipped Pretzels

You'll need:

pretzel rods of any brand
parchment, wax or foil paper
your favorite kind of chocolate chips (I prefer dark chocolate or milk chocolate for these)
toppings, such as sprinkles, toffee crunch sprinkles, white chocolate, peanut butter chips, nuts...

Melt your base chocolate in the microwave, stirring often.
spoon the melted chocolate over one pretzel rod at a time, spinning to cover the entire pretzel end... or if you have a large enough bowl you could just dip your pretzels. Set to cool and harden on the surface of your choice, I use parchment paper.
If using sprinkles you'll have to work fast, they won't stick after the chocolate hardens. Or you could use a hair dryer to re melt just the surface of the chocolate to add sprinkles later.
Melt any additional chips to add drizzles. I do this with a spoon, for finer lines use a tooth pick or a skewer.
Allow to cool until chocolate is hard before packaging

This is a super easy recipe for a quick gift, or to throw in with other gifts. I always keep all of these ingredients on hand just in case... Do not freeze, these aren't so great to make ahead of time! I'm thinking for my next batch of trying to add in a tad bit of instant coffee for a java flavored pretzel!

The Little Things in Life

2010-11-23T06:23:00.000-08:00

I'm in the midst of a learning season here in my life. Not that we aren't always learning, but learning seems to be the main theme of my life right now. Oh, I'm not really complaining, in fact that's another lesson life is trying to teach me... it's not about the woes me. Sure I'm force feeding our extremely close to death dog every hour on the hour, but it's not about me not having the time to do the other things in life, it's about being thank full for my years of training on how to handle these situations, and it's about saving a life, even if it is just the life of an animal. It's about seeing the hope in my family that this could turn out okay after all. God doesn't want me to focus on the fact that I'm spending all of my time nursing the sick dog or nursing the baby (literally) or about the work I still have to do for the family that's due to arrive tomorrow. Time management is not the lesson... being thankful is.

It's about being thankful that I have finally heard from our missing family member, and being thankful that I can provide her with a way back... if He so chooses to use me. Life is teaching me not to dwell on what I can not do and to be prepared for what is with in my abilities.

I can't waste time fretting on small fights, and small mountains that I must cross. Life is not about me... imagine that. Oh, there's more lessons life is bringing to my door stop right now, I just must find the wisdom to allow them... and to learn.

Life is about being thankful for those little things in life, those little moments that teach us more than we could ever imagine...

Quinn, if you're reading this you can see Sophie's special toes ;)

"Here I am Lord"

2010-11-18T21:17:00.000-08:00

I, the Lord of sea and sky, I have heard my people cry. All who dwell in dark and sin, My hand will save.

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go, Lord, if you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart.

I, who made the stars of night, I will make their darkness bright. Who will bear my light to them? Whom shall I send?

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go, Lord, if you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart.

I, the Lord of snow and rain, I have borne my people’s pain. I have wept for love of them. They turn away.

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go, Lord, if you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart.

I will break their hearts of stone, Give them hearts for love alone. I will speak my words to them. Whom shall I send?

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go, Lord, if you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart.

I, the Lord of wind and flame, I will send the poor and lame. I will set a feast for them. My hand will save.

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go, Lord, if you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart.

Finest bread I will provide,'Til their hearts be satisfied. I will give my life to them. Whom shall I send?

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go, Lord, if you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart.

The above song is probably the song that has always touched me the deepest out of all the songs I have ever sung or heard at church. I can remember singing it along side my mom and my grandma when I was just a small child, the sound of the old organ still sounding in my head. This song was also my grandma's favorite church song, and if I quiet my thoughts enough I can still hear her voice singing along with it. Needless to say it touches me deeply.

A few nights ago while feeding Sophia I caught myself singing this song to her, out of nowhere. Literally I had been singing twinkle twinkle, when my melody changed into this song. I caught myself singing it to her again tonight. I cried softly as I told her between her grunts as to how she was named (well her middle name) after my grandma, whom I'm pretty sure was only the best woman who ever set foot on this earth. And then I thought of how fitting this song really was right now.

Here I am Lord. Is it I Lord? I have heard you calling in the night.

So perfectly fitting. I'm ready to go, but I am Not letting Him lead me.

I called out today, both on here and to an old dear friend for advice on our family issues. And then while waiting for some answer from God or anyone I cried to my husband as we received more bad news. All though I am disheartened on the news we got, I'm some how inspired by the responses I got. Every single response was to sit still, to wait, to trust in God and pray some more. To be there when that call is made, ever waiting to serve.

I'm too anxious to slay the big bad ugly that's out there. I'm driven by my momma bear, baby blues induced hormones... and that's not to say that being driven by those are bad, in fact they just might be the best tool I have to help our family member. She's young, newly wed, and has an 8 month old baby, we have a connection she can't find anywhere else. I have to keep that connection alive as my husband explained my own thoughts to me... I might just be the only bridge back that she hasn't burned. I have to sit here and keep my door open for her. And that means waiting, just like everyone is telling me... imagine that.

I need these kind of reminders often, that's one of the reasons I tend to use my blogs as a journal. I doubt my faith all too often, setting lofty goals for myself, wishing I could be like that lady or the next. I close my own self off from God, causing my ears to miss what He's telling me. Then I run around feeling sorry for myself that I don't know what God is telling me... why can't I ever hear Him. *sighs* I still have so much growing to do. But that's ok. I am what He created me to be,. This after all is not about me, and I think that's the hardest lesson of them all.

Again, thank you everyone for your prayers, they mean the world to me.

~Conversations~

2010-11-18T12:46:00.001-08:00

If only every conversation was as easy as Sophia's talk with her puppy. Oh how I wish.

I want to talk with my fellow Christan friends today. I need your help and advice. Things last night have taken a turn for the worse (in my opinion) for the family members I have written about in the past. And I have no idea what to do. My husband says there's nothing we can do, but let God do His thing. But I'm feeling a push. An urge you can call it, to do something, to step in. Honestly I can't tell if this is my need to roll in and play the hero, or if God is honestly trying to get me to do something. I can't stop trying to wrap my mind around it, but I do not want to act on my own accord and make situations worse.

So I'm turning to you, anyone reading my blog. I need advice, guidance and prayers. I guess I'm not seeking out a direct answer that would solve all the problems in the world, as so much some encouragement and wisdom.

Maybe we do just need to let God take over completely, and sit back and wait. I don't know. I don't know what He is telling me to do. And maybe in that is my answer, nothing. I don't know. How do you break a cult like following?

*Sighs* I'm sounding awfully dramatic today, I do apologize for that. Thank you in advance for all your prayers!

Book Review: A Year With God

2010-11-17T07:17:00.000-08:00

Make His Thoughts Your Thoughts A Year With God
Daily Readings and Reflections on God's Own Words
by R.P. Nettelhorst

"God's Words Changed History, Now Let Them Change You"

Are there any words more powerful than God's? Through His words, the world came into creation and all life into being. God spoke to His first people, Adam and Eve, andhe spoke to Noah and Abraham, to Moses, to the kings of Judah and Israel, and to the prophets.

And he speaks to you today.

God's words are real and they are full of His love, wisdom and direction. A year with God is a 365-day revelation of God's divine character through his actual words alng with reflections and insihts to increase your understanding.

The book is arranged by topic, and focuses only on God's words from the bible. The devotionals are listed in two different ways, first by number, such as "Day 1" instead of an actual date, and then they are broken up by subject matter. This allows you to start reading when ever you want, or you could focus on the subject you need most. Both I found really useful.

The language of the book is incrediably easy to follow, and very simple, down to earth, straight to the point. I found most of the entries to be very insightful and inspiring, allthough some did leave me desiring something more.
I would recommend this devotional for allmost anyone, as it is not gender specific, nor is it set for any certain mood of life. I would even recommend it for those just beginning to gain an interest in the bible as it focuses on God's words and is a great learning tool, completewith actual scripture refrences.

This book left me wanting just a tad bit more as I read it, but I still highly enjoyed it.

I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

I Forgot to Add...

2010-11-16T08:51:00.000-08:00

I forgot when sharing my November list of to-do's to add in my Thanksgiving prep list. So here you go, because I know you are dying to know, lol.

~~Family Album~~
Wash sheets and pillows for guest
Clean out oven
Clean out fridge
Clean carpets
prepare bathroom for guest
holiday decorations
prepare table
prepare shopping lists and recipes

And I think that's it for now, I lost my original list... have I forgotten anything?

We Can Never Stop Praying

2010-11-16T06:14:00.000-08:00

I would like to first thank everyone who lent us your prayers from the last post on this subject. As we have seen some hopeful progress since I wrote on this last.

Last night we were notified that the husband of this family member has, I guess you can call it "woken up" from the cult like ways they were in. From what I was told he told his wife to ask the main source of this to leave their home, or he was going to leave. His wife ignored him, and he left for a few days. She soon called him back, and made the 'problem' find somewhere else to stay. So the good news is that he's back in their home, and the problem isn't staying with them anymore. This family member still is deep into her ways though, and we still could use many more prayers for them.

There might be a chance of other family members getting her to us for the Holidays, which I would personally love! I would love to show her a stable setting filled with non-judgemental faith. But my husband won't allow this, unless she calls him and breaks her silence with him. I understand his reasoning, I really do. I just pray that God opens her eyes long enough for her to make that call soon. Or that He shows me a way to communicate this to her, without causing anymore problems.

So if you wouldn't mind please continue to pray for all of us. Thank you.

Just Another List

2010-11-11T11:39:00.000-08:00

I know I have shared my love for list making in the past. I'm obsessed really, give me paper and give me a pen, and I'd make list until my hands fall off. But for today I'm putting my list here, just to share with everyone my goals for the rest of this month, maybe that will help me to actually get some red lines through me list!

November's List

~~make apron for the apron exchange~~
make an apron for myself
~~prepare the Thanksgiving menu~~
finish Christmas stocking
finish writing my NaNoWriMo novel
finish downstairs bathroom
finish snowman sewing
clean out and re-hab the goat hut for winter
plan our Minnesota trip
clear out one section for next year's garden
finish the laundry room rehab
make scented bath salts for Christmas presents
make scented soaps for Christmas presents

Jeeze, I could really keep going, but I think that's enough for the days left in this month. Here's hoping I get everything crossed off this list, and nothing gets dragged over to next month's list.

~Curtains~

2010-11-11T09:58:00.000-08:00

I was inspired a few weeks back a book I bought,
So I decided I would dig out my poor dusty sewing machine and finally get to decorating my laundry room. Of course that is where my plan both started and ended. I drug the kids out to Walmart, the only place within an hour drive out here that sells fabric, and bought a yard of this and a yard of that.

To make a long story short, after sneaking in a minute of ironing here (hello, iron, couldn't find mine, must have lost it in the move, and had to venture back out the next day to buy one) and few minutes sewing there, I finally finished the Cafe' ruffled curtains from this book.

Before I share the photo, I do have to say that I'm in love with this book. The steps are easy, all the patterns have beautiful pictures, it comes with full sized patterns ready to use, and if you're still clueless there's tutorials in the front!

So without further ado, my curtains...

Here and There

2010-11-11T07:12:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share with everyone two other places you can find me at, that is if you're interested in listening to more of my scattered thoughts. ;)

First off you can now find me on Twitter, yes, I did it, I joined, even though I swore I never would. I have my reasons, really I do. I wanted a place separate from my blog or facebook where I could post my daily doings. So if you're interested in that sort of thing, look for me under BarefootcoffeeG or Emily Coffeegirl. I also believe you can click on the link, on the right, towards the bottom of my blog.

The next site I really don't post at very often, but it's extremely useful and addictive if you're the crocheting or knitting type. The site is http://www.ravelry.com/ you do have to wait from an invite back from them to join, but it's free and doesn't take too long. I can be found under gab15th there.

Now I must get back to my racks of jerky and my sewing projects...

An Apron Giveway...

2010-11-04T10:39:00.000-07:00

Hop on over to Blessed Femina's blog today to enter to win a homemade apron, celebrating her two years of blogging! http://blessedfemina.blogspot.com/2010/11/two-year-blog-anniversary-giveaway.html

And even if you don't want a chance to win her handy work, stop by and visit her anyway, you'll be glad you did!

Recipe: Chocolate Flip Strips (AKA Cookies of Doom)

2010-11-03T10:44:00.000-07:00

I started out this morning with the best of intentions. I wanted to post a pretty little post today featuring one of my favorite cookie recipes, complete with pictures... and then my microwave went pop. Literally. There's a burnt spot on the bottom of it, and it came with bright red flashes. *sighs* Then the kids both lost their minds... and these aren't kid friendly cookies, at least not in the making stages. But we all survived, well except for my microwave that is, and now I share with you my "Cookies of Doom".

Watching mom run around like crazy is very exhausting!

WARNING: Any impending doom that results at your house while making these are not my fault! And again, these are not user friendly cookies to make. Mainly the ingredients are simple, but putting them together can be very trying, especially if you want them to look pretty for blog pictures. But with that said they always taste wonderful no matter what they end up looking like!

You'll need:

These were supposed to be what you need. But see that salt, you don't need that. And see the syrup? No? Well replace the salt with that...

1 cup shortening
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups all purpose flour
6 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk
wax paper
1 teaspoon water
1 tablespoon light Karo syrup
and patience!

Cream together 3/4 cup of shortening, 3/4 cup brown sugar, and 1 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla. Then add 2 cups of flour. Make into two equal balls and refrigerate as you continue with the next steps.

Melt 6 ounces of chocolate chips and 1 tablespoon shortening. After melted, mix in 1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk. Set aside 1/4 cup of this for icing. Then add 1 teaspoon vanilla to remaining filling.

On a sheet of wax paper, roll out dough to about 14 inches x 5 inches. Put half of the filling on half of the dough lengthwise. Then flip the other half over this and close the edges. Repeat with the other ball of dough and the rest of the filling. Put on cookie sheet and bake at 350* for 15 to 20 minutes, allow to cool.

Melt the 1/4 cup of filling you have set aside plus 1 teaspoon of water and 1 tablespoon of light Karo syrup. After this has melted ice the cookies.

Allow to cool before cutting.

If your dough crumbles too much, spray lightly with water while rolling.

Enjoy and be careful!!

I Might Have Splurged (Fall Sewing)

2010-11-02T13:31:00.000-07:00

I am a girl who simply cannot resist projects. Sure I have more things going on than half the people in my neck of the woods combined, but lookie at that cute book, and those cute patterns, oh and all of those wonderful materials, and, and, and! But see, I can make this as a gift for so and so (and one for me too!), so I have to buy double, and I'm sure I can get it all done BEFORE Christmas! Who cares if my house looks like I'm raising wolves, I can get all of that done too!!!

*Sighs* My name is Emily, and I'm highly addicted to crafts. I need rehab. But when I go may I please bring my knitting supplies? Please? No? Perhaps some crayons?

Well I may have a problem, but my craft dresser sure is looking full and happy.

On the list for this month is an apron for an apron exchange (my first one, I'm soooooo excited!!!!), a snuggle blankie for Sophia, and decorating my laundry room. Honestly I have more projects laid out, but heaven knows I'll be lucky to finish one of these!

Your Prayers are Needed

2010-11-02T07:21:00.000-07:00

A long time ago I blogged about a relative who was leaning a tad bit towards being a radical christian, and how we were starting to worry about her. I'm afraid to say that situations have not improved.

I don't think it's really necessary to go into all the details here, but I will say they believe they are holier than others, and are without sin. They believe they do not need to lock their doors because God will keep them safe. They are parents to a 7 month old, and she had her husband QUIT his job, their only income, because he had to work on Sundays. I asked her last night what they were going to do, and she responded, "It doesn't matter, we have faith." Now granted I believe that God does provide... but I believe he only helps those who help themselves... I don't think He'll through a Job or a Paycheck through their unlocked doors. I could be wrong.

There's so much more scarier things going on, that I could ramble on about all day. My biggest concern is their child. I'm sure they are taking care of her, and I know they love her, but my 3 month old baby is outweighing their 7 month old, and their baby is just now hitting the 4 month milestones.

Last night on the phone it sounded as if I was talking to an empty shell. Her voice resembled that of a stoned person. Her responses were lethargic, and everything was, "It will be ok, it doesn't matter." I wanted to reach right through the phone and shake her.

I've been praying, and I have felt the push to do something for these people, but I don't yet know where to start. Please if you would, pray for her, her husband, the baby and the rest of her family. Please pray that I can find a way, through God, to bring her back. I'm more than thrilled that she's so deeply devoted to God, but their behaviors are much more like that of a cult, and I'm really fearing for their safety. We all are. Thank you.

A Christmas Control Journal

2010-10-29T12:31:00.000-07:00

I have started on this year's Holiday Control Journal in hopes of keeping my brain from melting over for the next 8 weeks. I hope to be able to post pictures of it soon, maybe Monday, but until then if you'd like to get started on one of your own check out Fly Lady's FREE printable at http://www.flylady.net/ . Look for it under her Holiday links. Somewhere I have a link for a much more in depth one, that actually list tasks starting in August, I believe it's called something along the lines of A Grand Plan if you want to google it. But I prefer the simplicity of flylady's. I have mine in a three ring binder (I have a secret desire to keep the binder makers employed) and I'm adding in clear slip covers and recipe cards to make it more personal for my needs.

How do you prepare for the Holidays?

It's the Most Hectic Season of All (and a recipe)

2010-10-28T05:59:00.000-07:00

Marshmallow Mints

I don't know about everyone else, but Monday marks the beginning of my most hectic time of year. There's deer hunting, NaNoWriMo, Thanksgiving, my son's birthday, Christmas, my mom's birthday, crafting, yard stuff, influx in dog training and more all crammed into November and December. It's enough to have me begging that October never ends. You would think I'd learn my lesson and start earlier every year, but somehow I can't tie myself down to anything that requires being indoors until the weather turns cold. And with the weather guy telling me that today we will be getting no warmer than 50* I suppose it's time to start.

I'm working on a plan (aren't I always). A grand, Emily won't drink 500 pots of coffee this season, plan, and I hope you all will join me... there just might be a giveaway or two along the way. Step one is my favorite step of all, making the list and checking it twice. Today I'll be sketching out my giant list of to do's and to buy's, in hopes that I'll follow through this year. I'll post more details later today if you need hints on how to start. As we go along I'll also be posting links to several blogs and sites with frugal Christmas ideas, please feel free to share your favorites!

Before I leave you this morning, here's an easy recipe to get you started for the Marshmallow Mints pictured above... perfect for last minute gifts and for your hot chocolate and coffee.

You'll need:

1 bag of either full size marshmallows or mini's. Full sized look better, but are slower to melt.
1 bag dark chocolate chips, or the chocolate of your preference
1 package candy canes or starburst mints, crushed

Simply melt your chocolate, dip just the tops of the marshmallows (or drizzle the chocolate over mini marshmallows) then sprinkle on your crushed mints immediately. Allow to cool and fully harden before packaging. I put mine in the clear containers crisco sticks come in, then wrapped the tops with festive cellophane. Enjoy!

Always Heed a Turkey's Warnings

2010-10-26T20:40:00.000-07:00

Today should've been over weeks ago... or maybe I just really need to hibernate now. One of the two. But seeing that God obviously has His own plans I'm surrounding myself in Christmas-y projects.

Maybe I just need to stay put in my home, and let the world come to me for now on... I so could dive right into Internet shopping... I'm rambling, sorry. I do know however, that the next time a turkey tries to have a chat with my windshield that I will heed his warning and stay home for ~~days~~ weeks. Friday, as I battled a not so friendly cold, I wrapped up the kids, pre-coffee, and headed out for tissues, I was down to using spit-up rags and had little choice. On the way home, mid snot-ball, a turkey ran out of the woods, straight at my car, and almost met head-on with my windshield. Apparently turkey don't care if you have had your coffee yet. Then today a guy turned into my car, literally. We were all fine as we were lucky enough to have been only going 10 mph in rush hour traffic. But still. How he missed sight of my huge, red suv is beyond me. Add in the fact that I was not anywhere near a blind spot... ugh. Fun does not include trying to cross an interstate in rush hour traffic, with a scared four year old and a screaming baby. Thanks John Wayne II for the great times. Yeah, I was hit by a John Wayne Jr. Anywho, on my way home, two deer decided to play chicken with my car... because a turkey and an idiot simply is not enough for one week. I suppose they didn't see the evil eye I was giving any car that ventured close to mine. The funny part was that my husband was in the adjacent woods, at that very moment, hunting deer... and he never got one! I guess I shouldn't have swerved. *shrugs*

I'm tired, cold and my brain has gone into automatic shutdown before it boiled over. To coop I'm venturing into the world of embroidery. Come hither cute little snowman patterns, mamma needs some comfort...